DECISIONS: Day 2 of 365 (Episode 1)

DECISIONS: Day 2 of 365 (Episode 1)

“There are dreams, there are wishes, and there’s reality,” Kemi mumbled. She lay sprawled on her back, the sheets crumpling more with every movement she made per minute. She had just gone through her mail, something she had not consciously planned to do in a minute. It felt different; it made her feel different, and it was not in the sort of way she would feel if she was a few years younger. For as long as she could remember, each new year had an impact on her. In the first January of her thirteen-years-old, she had felt a motivation. She did not remember now if it had been her first experience of it, or her first conscious one. In the January of her fourteenth, it had been stronger. In the January of her fifteenth, she had drawn a resolution to guide her faith as she could. Well, three more years and today was the January of her eighteenth. Someone should have told her that the excitement to live a better life and become the world’s youngest inspiration as a teenager ended a month after one’s eighteenth birthday. Or so she thought. 

“There are dreams, wishes…,” she continued to mumble. And with a tired sigh, “Reality…” 

She sat up. A familiar scent caught her nostrils. She looked beside her. Kosi’s naked body lay limp, save for the rythmic rising and falling of his chest, his wrist balanced on his forehead. She had not remembered that he slept over. She sighed and made her way to the bathroom. A month ago, she had bought a mirror –finally!– to give her bathroom the exotic look she’d secretly yearned for. Only now, the wood-rimmed edges of the mirror seemed to be laughing at how cheeky her thoughts could be. Another sigh. 

She stared at her reflection. All that she had on was her thong, which she did not remember how it had got itself back onto her body. 

“Thinner than ever”, she said. A month ago, she had not cared. Two months ago, she had not cared either. But today, today was different. Today was day two of 365, one of the first few days of the year that would be spent again on looking at her flaws, hating herself, regretting mistakes and promising to do better, but falling back into old habits, and ending the year with more regrets for not working harder than she should have. One more sigh. 

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