Hi, I’m 2020; a super villain. I know right! I need not introduce myself; all of you have met me already. Don’t worry; introducing myself is the least of courtesies I can do, after all, you are reading my dictionary cum journal. I have manners too you know
Back to the introduction. I am a year in the human calendar: not just any year, I am a super villain with a very long cape. Like all other super villains, I don’t leave any dull moments. I came into being to have fun and spice things up; I know fully well that I have done just that, don’t you think?
I am so powerful that I successfully catalyzed changes in all aspects of the human civilization. I mean, I not only forced you lot into using your mobile phones the more, I made you all sit at home for a long time (my ace card – corona virus) and I also introduced some of my own personal slangs into your daily lexicon. I even made you consider naming my kid bro – 2021(twenty twenty won) after me! Yeah yeah! I know I am super cool. Double wahala for you if you don’t like me ooo.
Because I am particularly proud of being able to alter the human lexicon, let me show you some of MY words that you use daily.
NOTE: This dictionary – though usable by individuals of all Nationalities – is peculiarly written for my fans in Nigeria. I love you big!

Hoodlum; [Noun].
An individual with funny or unusual character; especially if he or she is jovial and very humorous

[politics] Anybody that protests or joins a protest against the existing authority.
A comrade or a compatriot.
Meet John and Theophilus; they are very good hoodlums.

Nose mask; [Noun]
A piece of clothing worn as a ticket of entry into any public gathering. It is usually removed after entry.

No nose mask, no entry.

Synonyms: facemask, mouth cover, nose cover.

The act of tactfully ignoring comments and people.
Past tense; AIRED.
It is best used with DFKM (a phrase meaning “don’t fucking kill me”) for a special effect.

Olumide thinks he can whine me; I aired him.

Synonym: ignore, disregard

An act of having fun even in most unlikely and unwarranted situations
A humorous means of telling someone off or ignoring someone
See Aired

I thought I could get her attention, but she was catching cruise with my messages.
I didn’t mean to insult her; I was just catching cruise.

Etymology; Yoruba
An expression of utter perplexity. Usually used when you are short of words.
A word used to humorously express shock.
A euphemistic way of expression shock

My omo was omooed
That guy got away with the case, omoo!

[politics]A mass demonstration against poor governance and administrative malady

Synonym; Protest.

Falana will lead an end sars if the government fails to deliver.

[politics] food stored in a foodbank, most appropriately warehouses, for consumption by elites.
[diet and nutrition] Indomeen; a special type of noodles made and consumed by Nigerians
Any kind of good stored in a warehouse; especially ones meant to be stolen.

Synonym; Indomeen, noodles
Mum! I want Mum! I want to have palliative for breakfast.

Ko poor ke!

Etymology; Yoruba
A phrase used to celebrate ostentation especially on social media pages
An expression of love for appearance beauty and sense of dressing.

Wahala be like bicycle;
Etymology; Yoruba
A philosophical expression that captures actions and the reactions; problems and consequences
An introspective phrase that encapsulates the profundity of a dire situation.

At this point, I have exhausted the list of words in my head. You don’t expect me to remember all, do you? Please, cut me some slack. I am an Old year with grey hair and a good heir. Put some respect on my Old age (and my achievements). However, if you still feel there are some words – maybe your favorite – that I have not included, feel free to include them in the comment session.
So far so good, I can say I am fulfilled and I can die peacefully. I wish you a fun filled time with 2021.
Adios amigos.

Share this:

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
Did you enjoy this story? Then pay a tip to subscribe to their email list and get premium, exclusive content from them

What do you think?

Join The Tell! Community

Read, write and connect on Africa's most creative community for writers, thinkers and storytellers

Get Started