Hi, I’m 2020; a super villain. I know right! I need not introduce myself; all of you have met me already. Don’t worry; introducing myself is the least of courtesies I can do, after all, you are reading my dictionary cum journal. I have manners too you know
Back to the introduction. I am a year in the human calendar: not just any year, I am a super villain with a very long cape. Like all other super villains, I don’t leave any dull moments. I came into being to have fun and spice things up; I know fully well that I have done just that, don’t you think?
I am so powerful that I successfully catalyzed changes in all aspects of the human civilization. I mean, I not only forced you lot into using your mobile phones the more, I made you all sit at home for a long time (my ace card – corona virus) and I also introduced some of my own personal slangs into your daily lexicon. I even made you consider naming my kid bro – 2021(twenty twenty won) after me! Yeah yeah! I know I am super cool. Double wahala for you if you don’t like me ooo.
Because I am particularly proud of being able to alter the human lexicon, let me show you some of MY words that you use daily.
NOTE: This dictionary – though usable by individuals of all Nationalities – is peculiarly written for my fans in Nigeria. I love you big!
An individual with funny or unusual character; especially if he or she is jovial and very humorous
[politics] Anybody that protests or joins a protest against the existing authority.
A comrade or a compatriot.
Meet John and Theophilus; they are very good hoodlums.
Nose mask; [Noun]
A piece of clothing worn as a ticket of entry into any public gathering. It is usually removed after entry.
No nose mask, no entry.
Synonyms: facemask, mouth cover, nose cover.
The act of tactfully ignoring comments and people.
Past tense; AIRED.
It is best used with DFKM (a phrase meaning “don’t fucking kill me”) for a special effect.
Olumide thinks he can whine me; I aired him.
Synonym: ignore, disregard
An act of having fun even in most unlikely and unwarranted situations
A humorous means of telling someone off or ignoring someone
I thought I could get her attention, but she was catching cruise with my messages.
I didn’t mean to insult her; I was just catching cruise.
An expression of utter perplexity. Usually used when you are short of words.
A word used to humorously express shock.
A euphemistic way of expression shock
My omo was omooed
That guy got away with the case, omoo!
END SARS; [NOUN]
[politics]A mass demonstration against poor governance and administrative malady
Falana will lead an end sars if the government fails to deliver.
[politics] food stored in a foodbank, most appropriately warehouses, for consumption by elites.
[diet and nutrition] Indomeen; a special type of noodles made and consumed by Nigerians
Any kind of good stored in a warehouse; especially ones meant to be stolen.
Synonym; Indomeen, noodles
Mum! I want Mum! I want to have palliative for breakfast.
Ko poor ke!
A phrase used to celebrate ostentation especially on social media pages
An expression of love for appearance beauty and sense of dressing.
Wahala be like bicycle;
A philosophical expression that captures actions and the reactions; problems and consequences
An introspective phrase that encapsulates the profundity of a dire situation.
At this point, I have exhausted the list of words in my head. You don’t expect me to remember all, do you? Please, cut me some slack. I am an Old year with grey hair and a good heir. Put some respect on my Old age (and my achievements). However, if you still feel there are some words – maybe your favorite – that I have not included, feel free to include them in the comment session.
So far so good, I can say I am fulfilled and I can die peacefully. I wish you a fun filled time with 2021.