I lie down on the couch in front of the TV, sniffling and trying to swipe my tears. I was watching a movie about two lovers that were, by circumstances separated for years until they finally met again just to find out the man had cancer and only had months to live.
What if tomorrow never comes, have I said enough I love you to those I love or have I acted it enough?
I yelled at my sister this morning because she wore my clothes without my permission, does that mean I don’t love her?
I picked up a pen and paper and started writing..
To my Family,
This is not a suicide note, I’m just writing to tell you all how much I love you.
Mum, I never got to thank enough for all you’ve done for me ever since Dad died. As an only parent, you remained strong for us and never complained even when the going got tough. You kept my siblings and I in school despite the crash in your business, taught us to pray and be kind to everyone.
One thing I’ve always prayed for is to be a woman like you and most of all, for your long life and health.
I want to spoil you mum, it is my one true desire in life, so help me God.
You’re my superhero, my role model, my Queen.
Folake baby, baby sister per excellence. I love you so much baby. I miss the times when you used to come up to me and just hug me, it was the best feeling ever.
Why did you have to grow up so fast?. Now all you do is take my money and use my wardrobe as your personal boutique. I’m not complaining, you do look better in my clothes and you got style sweetie.
I’m sorry for being impatient with you, and I promise to be more accommodating and spend more time with you.
Big brother Tomiwa, I’m so grateful for you, you’re the best big brother anyone could ever ask for.
When Dad died, you were just sixteen years old, but I remember you telling me you were going to be my Daddy. You’ve been that ever since and more. You’re strong and supportive, and I pray to God to bless you immensely and that during your time of weakness, I can be strong for you too.
Uncle Ade, I never understood why Dad never liked you. You were always so nice to us as kids, but when Dad died, your true colors showed.
A week after my father died, you made to take all that was his, which fortunately, was in my mum’s name and your plan was foiled. I’ll never forget how you, raised your hand and pointed an accusatory finger at my mother, a grieving widow as the cause of her husband’s death.
Mum still asks us to pray for you and I never understood that. I hope I learn to forgive you, and I do try to everyday.
My best friends, Linda and Jimi.
You guys are family, you’ve been an amazing support system and diary. You both know everything about me, even things I don’t know about myself.
We’ve laughed, cried, fought,slept-over, got into trouble, been punished together..
Remember the birthday cake you both made for me when I couldn’t afford to get one?. You decided to make one for me using the secret ingredient “Love ❤️”. That was the most terrible cake I’ve ever eaten, ah!. I love you both but please leave the baking to me, you’re both terrible cooks. Don’t quit your day job yet.
You did make my day special though, we ate my “cake” as a dare and Jimi puked the whole time. Fun memories. I have the best best friends ever and I hope you guys know I love you so much.
You’ve all made my Life so colorful and complete, that I know that even if I were to die today, I’d die surrounded by love.
Mum, Folake, Brother Tomiwa, Linda and Jimi. Each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll always be in my heart, forever.