Growing up, I was an angry kid. Little things made me go off and it would take hours before I was calm again.
My friends teased a lot and gave me the nickname ‘ 0-100 ‘ which means I go from very calm and happy to blind anger in an instant.
Needless to say I hated the nickname, but that was the first insight as to how my anger defined me.
I wanted to stop getting angry so I communicated less. I withdrew into myself and my books kept me company. Books can’t hurt you, they are amazing that way.
When I did communicate, I had terrible outbursts. I had only learned to hide it but if triggered, the anger was still there.
I needed help.
I needed help so I turned to books and knowledgeable adults.
I read a lot of books, my personal favorite being ‘Mastery by Robert Greene. I learnt to tolerate people and control my anger.
I learnt the art of silence and processing my anger.
It was painful but slowly I changed. When someone tries to make me angry, I recognize the signs and immediately stop talking or reacting. I take a step out of my own body as I like to say and process the situation.
” Was I at fault?, What was this person trying to say?, Is there any solution, how do we approach it?”, These are the questions I ask myself before speaking.
At first, it seemed like such a tiny effort and I had anger left to spare eating at me. So I resolved to talk to the person and find a way together.
The peace that comes with not being a slave to your anger is immeasurable.
Unlike before, when a bout of anger can ruin my whole day and relationships, I find myself more productive and happy.
When someone tries to make me angry now I just respond with a smile. I broke up with anger long ago, my peace of mind assured.