Road not taken

Road not taken

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken 
BY Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


The first two verse of this poem came to mind as I sat beside my mother in the front pew of the church, impatiently waiting for service to end. The pastor preached on about chastity and I felt this particular sermon was specially for me.

I was brought up in a good Christian home with parents who taught me to believe in God, help the needy and be kind to everyone.

My mother had told me that the biggest honor of a woman was keeping her Virginity till marriage citing herself as an example of what that was.

One day, when I’m old enough, I want to be rich, have a husband that supports and love me and a house full of children, but that was so far away in the future.
“How do I deal with my current problem?.”

All my life, I was known as the perfect miss Shade – goody two shoes. Because of my seemingly perfect ways, students in my school exempted me from all the fun activities, saying how it wasn’t for “my type”.

I tried not to be hurt but I was. I wanted to be just like them. Giggle with my girlfriends about silly stuff, be invited to parties but all I was ever invited to was to sing in the choir.

Emeka was the most popular guys in my school. Athletic, intelligent and a proper ladies man. The first time he spoke to me, I had butterflies in my stomach for a week.

Suddenly I felt visible and important. Emeka would wait for me after school to escort me home and would hold my hands in school making other girls jealous. Other girls soon wanted to be my friend, some were jealous of me but I didn’t care. Finally I was getting noticed, even the boys said hello to me when I passed them in the hall and all because of Emeka.

When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I didn’t hesitate and said yes even though I didn’t understand what that entails. It was enough being with the most popular boy in school and finally getting some respect. Nobody laughed at me anymore and I got special invites to parties that I had to decide which to go to.

Few weeks ago, I had gone to a party with Emeka and enjoyed being the girlfriend of the most popular boy in school. There had been too much alcohol and students were drinking too much. I wasn’t comfortable but Emeka wanted to stay, so I did.
“What was I doing here?, My parents didn’t even know I had snuck out to a party”. I thought as I stood outside, the loud music filtering outside towards the veranda.

“Baby!, Come party!. Why are you staying here”. Emeka said as he came towards me.

I could see that he was drunk. He started kissing me. I didn’t want him doing that in public but I didn’t want him to call me a baby. When his hands moved to cup my breasts, I drew away and he gave me a scathing look.

” I’m not going to wait forever, you know” he said acidly before walking away.

I cried all the way home, there was no one I could tell what was happening. Next day at school, Emeka ignored me, pretending not to have seen me even when I waved.
He made it so obvious he wasn’t talking to me by following Sandra all over the school. I hated her, she was such a mean girl!.

By the third day, I was becoming invisible Shade again. Without Emeka, I was a nobody. Sandra came up to me and said loudly so that everyone could here.

“I’ll give him what you can’t, miss virginity!”.

I wanted the ground to claim me, now everyone knew I was still a virgin and I saw the look of pity on their faces. I ran to the the toilet and cried all through. “What was I going to do?!”.

The next day at school I walked up shakily to Emeka who as usual was surrounded by a group of students and he was the main attraction. “Emeka”, I muttered and he simply ignored me.

“Go away miss virginity”, Sandra sneered at me.

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll shut you up right now!. I’m talking to my boyfriend not you.”

That got everyone’s attention including Emekas’. I couldn’t believe I had just threatened Sandra who looked taken aback, couldn’t believe I said anything at all.
It was so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Finally, Emeka laughed, breaking the tension.

“Careful, she’s not only beautiful, she’s got claws too” he said and everyone laughed.

He led me away from the group and I tried to walk with my head high and shoulders squared. I had practiced that all night.

“What was that about?”, He said looking irritated now.

I smiled and dropped my voice in my best imitation of seduction.

“On my birthday baby, we can do it. It will be really special”.

Seeing him smile at me made me felt like I made the right decision. Losing my virginity was a small price to pay for having the cutest boy by my side, right?

“Are you serious?, You’re not joking?, I love you so much baby!” He said enfolding me in a hug. He had never told me that before and I felt really special.

Throughout that day, I was beaming from ear to ear. Literally walking on air. Emeka became more attentive and followed me everywhere like a lapdog.

Today is Sunday and my birthday is next Saturday.
My birthday was in a few days and I wasn’t so sure I wanted the lose my virginity to Emeka anymore.

“Will I be still be the same person to me after?, Or will I just be another girl?”.

My mother told me that I would lose my pride as a woman if I lost my virginity before marriage but if I didn’t, I would lose my boyfriend and all the friends I’ve made. I would become invisible and unimportant again. A nobody.

Who can I talk to?.
These are two roads spread before me, which do I take?.
Where does each of these roads lead?..

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