Finally I was able to hang out with Zhinny following the relaxing of a protracted lockdown in Port Harcourt. We were both excited to see each other after what seemed like an endless lockdown. We had missed each other very much. Then, in my usual manner, I teased her by saying; tinini-tanana, baby na sokoto. She blushed and laughed sheepishly….
Austin: Babe, am famished😔
Zhinny: Abeg, speak normal English make I understand. Na who grammer ep?😃
Austin: Ok. I mean I’m very hungry😟.
Zhinny: Auuusstin, Yu too like food ni.. So na that one you dey talk since. You no fit say hunger dey beat you or your stomach dey bite you. You dey say “I am flourish” 😂😂
Chai…..Oyinbo pikin. Hungry never beat you na. When hungry beat you like this ehnn, you go learn pigin by force😂😂
Austin: Please leave me jor!😔.
I just want to eat Indomie and fried egg with cold smoov. Have you eaten it before? it’s so heavenly, amazing, fantastic, lovely, delici…….
Zhinny: E don do. e don do. Ah! I don hear you. I know say you fit speak English for Africa..lolz. Thank you sir, you try…🤦♂. Make we go buy am (Zhinny said dragging my hand to go along with her.)
If you like dey speak all this plenty English for the aboki man🤣
That’s how we went to buy the smoov, Indomie and fried egg from a popular Indomie joint in the next street operated by Mallam Sani. So, we arrived. Zhinny was not hungry at the time, so I had placed order for me alone and was waiting patiently for it to be served. The whole stuff was sizzling and the aroma was irresistible. Suddenly, a message from NCDC popped up on my phone.
PimPim! Pim Pim!!..
“Stay away from crowded places, always put on a facemask, avoid people exhibiting symptoms like fever, high temperature, incessant sneezing and cough. Corona virus is real”
After reading the message, I passed it to Zhinny and she read it as well… Before long, Whoopee!! Indomie and fried egg with a cold smoov is served. I have been salivating all along. I was not going to rush this food but eat it slow and steady like a big man, I said to myself.
Everything went left field when I had just taken one spoon of Indomie.When three Aboki guys looking for help hastily carried in their sick and helpless brother who has been coughing and feeling feverish since morning. They said the guy had just escaped from the quarantine centre in Kano state and sneaked into town two days ago.
I shouted “Kweke” as my eyes bulged like that of Segun Arinze. I didn’t even had my facemask on. I had left my sanitizer at home. When I turned around, I couldn’t find Zhinny again. She had long escaped with speed like Hussein Bolt. But the other day, she said she loves me and she is ready to die with me or even die for me. Bye bye to yeye girl friend, I said.
Chai..! My Indomie and egg, my cold smoov, my #650 change….see corona virus.
If you were in my shoes what will you do?🤷♂
CORONA VIRUS is real.
SPREAD THE NEWS, NOT THE VIRUS.
Thank for reading
ODAFE Austin Johnson
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