The Know-all

The Know-all




Begins as seen in Proverbs 9:10





Psalm 14:1

Satisfied sigh.

This is such a complete book, backing itself up over and over. Its definitions of important words are always perfect and can be used in real life. Give me a better definition of the word ‘fool’. Let’s see what the Oxford Learner’s English Dictionary has to say.

See? The accuracy! 

This book’s definition is spot on because what better judgment or sign of intelligence is there than belief in the one who knows it all? There is no greater fool than the one who dares conclude that the all-knowing doesn’t exist. If the one who knows it all says he knows he exists, who are you to say he doesn’t? Especially when his only claim to existence is in the same book we draw this wonderful definition of these words. You truly lack intelligence and good judgement if you think you can contend with The Know-all and who, in his wisdom, brands you a fool for contending. You will never know as much as the one who knows it all, so what makes you think you can know that he doesn’t exist? 

The Know-all is also all-powerful, so he’s usually busy with things that require his power like saving just one person from a car crash where a dozen others were killed and taking from poor fools to make his already rich wise ones even richer. There’s so much on his plate, so rather than address us simpletons himself, he addresses us through other people. Since he is all-knowing, he knows all the right people to address us through. This is why, rather than write his book himself all those years ago, he chose the most qualified people in whose hands he placed the souls of the entire planet. He also chose a period and a language with interpretation he knew would still be relevant in modern times. He inspired these people and they wrote whatever he told them to. He gave them the definitions of words such as ‘fool’ and ‘wisdom’, and if you have a problem with any of the definitions, you’re definitely the problem. Are you implying the one who knows all didn’t get something right? Are you implying he doesn’t, in fact, know all? The mistake you make is trying to understand these things with the mind of one who doesn’t know all. You try to understand through the mind of a fool.

That’s right! You’re just not calling on him to interpret from the perspective of one who knows all. One who is wise. You see, an all-knowing being can not speak through simpletons. All the men he chose to write his big book all had a certain depth he provided them with. Wisdom, if you may; keep in mind what wisdom means according to The Know-all’s book. Because the words were written with such wisdom, you sometimes need the know-all to explain himself if you don’t have enough wisdom.

Despite how much wisdom the writers had, they still couldn’t be as wise as the know-all. Therefore there are few nuances in the writing. There’s only so much one who does not know all can pass on about the one who does know all. That’s yet another reason you need The Know-all’s help to understand what he actually meant, and not what his writers wrote. The Know-all’s devouts are coming to that realisation quite quickly, particularly about one of The Know-all’s writers.

This writer was very sentimental. Conservative. And he let this leak into his writing about The Know-all and his wishes and commands. For example, this writer grew up knowing that women had no place in important matters. This was so ingrained in him that whenever The Know-all said something about women that seemed to attribute them a bit of importance, he took that importance down a notch. He preferred to tie that importance to a man in that woman’s life instead.

“But why didn’t The Know-all simply correct him?” You might be wondering.

Well, people were dying and ending up in eternal damnation. There was no time for dilly dally. Salvation needed to be on its way as soon as no time. The Know-all knew the readers would need him for even less important interpretations anyway, so he figured he’d just handle it all together. And he did. He’s been helping his devouts understand what he really meant, so the devouts have come out and explained that the words of this writer do not represent The Know-all’s true intentions.

So, you see, The Know-all’s constantly ready to explain himself, but only to the wise. He can not deal with fools. No matter how much he tries to communicate with the fools, they are way too foolish to understand. The Know-all knows all, except, of course, how to communicate with fools. Truly, he is the Know-all. So, if you’re a fool, you’d better stop so you can help the Know-all give you wisdom.

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