It’s another hellish day with my loving husband. His former loving smile died a long time ago, along with the tenderness that came with it. That smile was replaced with a harsh frown and violent batterings day and night. My two children have grown accustomed to his beastly growlings and even their cries of “Mum, when will you leave him?” have all ceased.
He wasn’t always like this. No. This wasn’t the man I married. He used to be a doting man, always tending to my every need. His eyes were a clear blue sea of love. How I loved swimming in those soothing seas. His voice was heavenly as he whispered into my ears, telling me of all the warm affections he had for me. He was a man of dreams and ambitions. He was a man of love and affection. However, that man has died and there’s no bringing him back.
Yes, I should have run the first time he dared lay his hands on me and truly, if I was still a 20-year old beautifully blooming lady, I would have run as fast as my agile legs could carry me. He used to love these legs too. However, now I have grown to be a 45-year old woman and time has not dealt fairly with me. Wrinkles have appeared in places I didn’t even know could wrinkle and my doting husband has fallen out of love with me.
I see it in his eyes. He wishes he could kill this ugly woman that has taken the place of his beautiful wife. I see it in his eyes. He wishes he could still have the 20-year old damsel he married. But he forgets that time is no respecter of persons and even he has aged in ways more than one.
However, the more he hits me, the stronger I get. The more he curses and spits at me, the fiercer my heart becomes. I noticed it the first time he laid his hands on me. I wanted to curse and yell. I wanted to scratch that beard off his face. But something held me back. Something helped me stand. I didn’t understand where the strength came from but I didn’t feel the pain of his fierce blows as they rained on my back. I didn’t hear his curses as they echoed down the halls.
I found my superpowers and embraced it. Yes, if not for these powers, I’d have died a long time ago. If not for these powers, my children would have become motherless.
These superpowers give me strength. These superpowers breathe on my feeble legs and help me stand. These superpowers keep my mind sane even as the thought of poisoning his food tempts me every now and then. These superpowers remind me that hurt people hurt people and his cancer which has been eating at his heart has left him with two more weeks to live. These superpowers show me that the husband I married died a long time ago and this beast will follow in two weeks time.
My superpower is my strength and this strength gives me hope to stand even though the fiercest weather.