WHO IS KING?

WHO IS KING?

“In Nigeria, I am king”, Garri roared. Rice stood up to oppose the claim of Garri and declared that Garri was just a joker who didn’t even have the elegance of a king. Therefore, a kingship debate was declared by the food legislative officials: Fufu, Amala and Iyan. The pressmen, Chicken and Turkey carried the news all around the kingdom, informing all food citizens to prepare themselves for the heat of the debate pot.

In the evening time, just when the clock struck dinnertime, all food citizens gathered at the debate pot to hear the kingship candidates out. The anchor for the evening, Sisi Ice Cream, sweetly walked to the podium with her cone-shaped heels standing out in the lights. With her flavoured words, she welcomed the citizens and then the debate commenced.

Garri was the first one to deliver his speech. He was a man with a skin so smooth and white though he occasionally had few blemishes. He was a descendant of the Cassava clan, and had passed through The Educational Institute of Frying where he bagged a degree in Processing. With so much pride, he came out and started off by telling the people about his versatility.

Garri was a man who had many investments and businesses. He was an investor in Dodo companies, a shareholder in Sugar and Groundnut Limited and a partner in Eja Dindin business organization. He was also happily married to a cool woman called Water and their union was blessed with three wonderful children: Eba, Soaked Garri and Garri Cake. He used all these points to prove that he was rich and well respected.

Rice also came out to show his worth. He claimed that he was well known and influential even in the Human Planet. Despite the size of his family, he and his family lived very well and that proved that Rice was extraordinarily rich. Rice was a polygamous man. He was married to many wives but the most prominent amongst the wives were Salty Water, Pepper, Coconut and Curry. Of course, he had many children. I’ll just name a few: White Rice, Jollof Rice, Fried Rice, and Coconut Rice. He was one of the employers of our dear pressmen: Chicken and Turkey i.e. he co-owned a media house.

Garri further added weight to his points by stating that he was more diplomatic and had more connections. It was known that Garri was more useful in the Human Planet for where Rice couldn’t buy his way into, Garri was wanted especially for his humility.

The debate was rounded up soon for the clock had struck digestion and it was time for all to retire to their intestinal houses. The people looked forward to the choosing of their king which was always decided by judges from the Human Planet. These people chose the king by going through a process known as The Tasting.

As at now, we’re awaiting the decision of the judges so if you’re a judge and you’re reading this, please release us from this salivation and feed us with those delicious results.

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