A GUIDE TO MARRYING A NIGERIAN MAN

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As a Nigerian woman, you have a lot on your plate already. You battle insecurity, unemployment, inflation, and the worst of all, NIGERIAN MEN.

We all know men are mad, but Nigerian men are “madder.” They take manipulation, gaslighting, and cheating to the next level and think their good looks will compensate for it.

As an online certified relationship adviser with many degrees to show for it, I am here to give you tips on achieving long-lasting marriage with a Nigerian man.

1. Be submissive: see, a truly virtuous woman is always submissive to her husband. She never objects to his orders and maintains her lane as the “neck” of the household. You see, that thing called “opinion” SWALLOW IT. Remain subdued and quiet, and your marriage shall last.

2. Your vagina comes with a catering degree: it doesn’t matter if you are a doctor, lawyer, or whatever career you choose for yourself. As a woman, you should automatically know how to cook. Not just cooking oo, have different styles and always make sure there’s a fresh meal every day for your husband. You must know how to cook Yoruba soup, Calabar, and Igbo soup, and if all of a sudden, he wakes up craving Arabian food as a good wife, you must know how to cook it. What is your duty as a wife if not cooking? Remember, the road to a man’s heart is his stomach.

3. Have no friends: A good wife doesn’t have friends, especially all those single female ones that want to destroy your marriages. You should focus on your marriage, not following friends up and down. It is not your business if your husband brings all his friends every Saturday to watch EPL and you are in the kitchen cooking Isiewu and Jollof rice. He’s the man, and you are his *slave* sorry, WIFE.

4. Have a superpower: Tell me how you are supposed to work 9-5 daily, come home to cook, take care of the kids, clean the house simultaneously, and remain sexy for your husband so he won’t look at other women. My dear, pray to God to grant you supernatural speed and ageless beauty because you will need it for this journey you are about to embark on.

5. Be prayerful: remember you are married, and that is the best thing to happen to a woman. There are plenty of women out there trying to snatch your trophy husband. You must do everything in your power to protect him. Attend the “holy ghost covers my husband” prayer every Thursday and “cover my husband eyes prayer” in the mosque on Friday after Jumat. Make sure you follow all the marriage counselors on Instagram. And if all that doesn’t work, you can patronize kayamata sellers to seal him to you for life.

6. there’s nothing like cheating: forget all those things you watch on T.V Nigerian men don’t cheat. He might try other options, but it is not cheating. After all, men are polygamous in nature. So, no matter how often you or your friends have caught him cheating, remember he is just doing the Lord’s work. Besides, you can’t blame him; all these young women nowadays chase after people’s husbands with their short skirts.

7. Endure and be patient: You will probably hear this the night before your wedding when your mum and married aunts are advising you. Nigerian men will want to turn you into a mad woman, but you have to endure and even if you are frustrated and fallen out of love, ENDURE. Even if he cheats with the woman you buy your foodstuff from, or he’s a little bit “gay,” Endure and pray over it. No matter what he does, Endure and be patient, for the Lord will guide him back home.

There you have it, the ultimate tips for marrying a Nigerian man, hold these gems tightly and your marriage shall last. There’s no greater gift for a woman than marriage.

A successful career is for losers and all those feminists. You have to protect your home and do all possible to keep your man. Remember, divorce is not an option in a Nigerian marriage.

P.S: This is not slander; I am just here, to tell the truth as God has sent me.


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