Let me report my hairdresser.

Let me report my hairdresser.

 I just got back from the hairdressers’ and I am so pained. Why do some hairdressers make it their life’s mission to do the polar opposite of whatever style you tell them you want. Is it intentionally done? Like, do they come together in their meetings and vote for ‘ twist the hairstyle for your customer’ as opposed to voting for ‘please your customer’. I have so many tales that go along that line because I have been wronged. I must even add that I’m a naturalista, which means my struggle doubles.

As a naturalista with a sensitive scalp, it takes all willpower not to get up from the chair and tackle some hairdressers to the freaking ground because of the way they just comb your hair with so much nonchalance. Damn. Or when they comb your very long and thick hair with a tail comb. I’m writing this and tears want to fall because it is very very painful. I don’t know if they need an orientation programme on how to handle natural hair because these people are literally getting on my nerves. How many hairdressers do I have to meet before I find the right one? To think, I felt I reached my last bus stop with this woman because she was so gentle with my hair the last time I went to make my hair with her. I guess she was just disguising torí it was my first time.

To the issue on ground, I went to wash and plait my hair today. I must confess that I do not know the difference between dídì and weaving or bíba or àdìmọ̀lẹ̀ I just know that when I say mo fẹ́ di irun mi, I want the normal dídì that has my hair showing on top, not the sleeping dídì and not the one where they hide my hair inside and plait from the back. 

Last week or thirteen days ago, to avoid confusion, I showed this woman the normal didi I just described on here and she went ahead to do sleeping dídì for me. Like, what more can I do, brethren? Is a picture not enough evidence? I just took the hair in good faith because I have been wanting to try it when I should have noticed a red flag. I didn’t, unfortunately, and I went back there, armed with a picture of my to-be hair. 

See, if you show your hairdresser or your tailor a style and they look once and never refer back to it, my dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, run. It never ends well. I have proof. This woman looked at the picture once and started dividing my hair. Long story short, I wanted curvy hair and I went home with straight-lined hair and that wasn’t even the part that hurts most. She kept yanking my hair with the cutting comb which was causing me a lot of pain when she would achieve the same result if she tried to part my hair gently. I should have complained but I didn’t because I was angry, sad, in pain and wondering if she just wanted to be fast at the same time. I’m never going back shá. Twice beaten, a hundred times shy.

cover picture – AGONY by LaReineDesVagabonds

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