It happens a lot of people get into marriage and quite early I must say, without plans, or an assurance of what the marriage could probably look like, but only with a hope that “Iyanu maa sele”. But then, isn’t faith an evidence of things not yet seen? Marriage is a beautiful thing they say, but how do you get into it when you haven’t decorated it?
I get the excitement – try to understand the exhilaration on the wedding day, even though, I won’t be having any of it. But how much knowledge of what you are getting into do you have?
The “get rich syndrome” now has a competition! It is the “get married syndrome”. There’s the coerced manner in which we tell people to get married and get early marriage. You hear things like; “Young man, when are you getting married?” “You are not getting any younger”. Same goes to the female folks who are being told that if they don’t get married now, they will lose their respect and no man will ever marry them. Statements like these, most which also comes from family members have pushed young men and women to settle for less.
How about our religious folks who thinks marriage is an escape from sexual immorality? So, brother Mike, the choir director who is 35years old and still single is probably fornicating with the choir lead vocalist. “Why are they always together?” “They go home together, they laugh together and they cry together”…. (Lol) “So there’s something going on between them” “He is probably taking advantage of these our girls”.
O ye gossip mongers!
We tell brother Mike to go get married so he won’t fornicate. Brother Mike, so as to shut the ‘running tap mouths’, looks for a girl to marry, even though he is not ready and probably doesn’t love her. Brother Mike marries the new girl since it is the church’s match making idea. And BOOM! Six months into the marriage, they are having issues and guess what? It’s ‘sexual issues’. The wife, doesn’t like penetrative sex. So, for six months they’ve had little or no sex. But they are stuck together because the church doesn’t subscribe to a divorce.
There’s also sister Sandra, the bible study assistant coordinator who pulls all the stop in desperation and fear of being a castaway by church, to get married to brother John, the prayer leader. But here is it, brother John has anger issues. Also due to childhood experiences, he is a wife beater.
Our society at all levels has glorified marriage and shamed being unmarried which has caused a lot of people to make regrettable choices. Thus, if you’re not married, you are less of a man or woman.
So dear, when are you getting married?