Did you ever plan a whole script for your meeting or just how the day was going to go and suddenly things just didn’t go the way you wanted?
That is because some of us here set our happiness on their very high expectations. We expect the perfect job with a high salary after graduating. We expect kindness from people we have no link to. We expect the kids to behave all the time and follow your guidance. Your work obligations just kill every hope of fun you had for the weekend. And when a small breeze of winds triggers that script of expectations, everything you planned just falls to pieces. Our circumstances take part in our lives but how we respond to them is the bigger part.
When the reality hits us in the face like a truck, we are discouraged and overwhelmed by the sadness. We let disappointment take over our lives and rob everything from us. Are we going to let that happen? You might say “of course not” but in reality, is that what you actually mean?
Recognizing the root of disappointment:
We want to focus on the positive aspects of your lives, so we count our blessings and be thankful for everything in life but then discouragement sneaks in through little losses and they keep piling and piling till they reach the root of our hearts. How does that happen?
– Constant unrealistic expectations of life
– Comparing what we have to what we desire
– Wishing for an alternate reality than the ones we live
“It doesn’t matter what you expected, but you must accept what reality offers to you at the end.”
― Mwanandeke Kindembo
So, what to do? Manage your expectations.
Do not set fantasy dreams as your expectations; choose realistic ones. People do not know your expectations and hopes, there is no way they can do. Keep things realistic and ask people what you need exactly for yourself. You can have high expectations for a relationship or a first date and your dreams end up crashing down because you did not speak up about your needs.
We always tend to compare ourselves to other people but rarely compare to those who have less. Looking at what we have will make us realized just how blessed we are. So instead of reciting your expectations, name your blessings. That is the best exercise you could ever do.
For example, when you go into a new situation ask yourself what do you expect and what are the outcomes, Should your expectations be that way? Are they realistic? If you are met with disappointment, ask yourself, was it realistic to ask for what you hoped for?
“If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it?”
― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes
Sure, striving can help you and push you to do your best and become the best version of yourself but simultaneously, can rob you out of your joy; especially when you always expect more. Becoming aware of the expectations you set and how they dance to your feelings can set you free from disappointments and heartbreaks that come from expectations.