Roller Coaster Emotions

Roller Coaster Emotions

Woke up one morning,
Unmasked and free; wading feet in the air.
Basking in the last moments of breaths,
The world as we knew it now ‘topsy turvy’
A new equilibrium the notion of our days.
Every sneeze and every cough rendered you: contagious!

Some days I want to scream,
Unequally yoked…
Laying down,
Legs in up in protest against the wall,
Ceiling staring,
Searching desperately for answers,
Lurking in thought,
As the memories flood right through,
Feeling my lips curl up in a smile,
Subtle chuckles itch my throat,
‘Ahh!’ I sigh…
How I miss that human touch.

I look to you,
Even just in a picture,
And my heart leaps for joy,
The memories stream in,
Physical contact…
Hand to cheek,
And cheek to cheek,
Lip to lock- lipped,
These are the fuel to my thoughts,
The notions to my words.
At home,
My quarantined space,
Locked in the prison of my mind,
Streams and streams of thoughts,
Laughter from contagion,
The jokes… the silly things we did,
Your absence… my fondness,
But how I miss you so,
Your breathing,
Your beating heart,
The rustles of your voice,
Live and uncut!

I miss feeling the slightest flicker,
Your fingers brushing against my thighs,
Your fingers gently caressing my cheeks,
Oops !! unaware the pulsating tingle you sent,
My sensory neurones bubbling in glee,
Yet I managed a smile ,
I miss you,
the close proximity,
Inching closer…
Let me help you close the gap,
Come here, I bite,
But not today .

Tease me… te..-te.. tease me,
I’ll take it,
But tempt me… temp….tempt me,
You’ll get it,
I feel the temperature in the room rise a little,
My eyes fierce,
See the fire burn,
Watch the flames set ablaze,
I like how you’re matching my horizon,
But let the wind blow me,
In memory of you.

You were like marshmallows,
On a cravings day,
Like melted chocolate,
Drizzled upon doughnuts,
But… just my imagination,
An absence that brought fondness,
Damn this virus,
Or I would find you,
From tinder to supermarkets,
By the roadside to petrol stations,
I guess everyone’s in hiding.

Jumbling up words,
Tickling my tongue with songs of love,
A feeling so strange,
I even forgot how to react,
Tell me I’m beautiful,
Make me laugh…
We’ll probably bond over stylish masks,
Or sanitizer brands,
Either way… find me!

Love languages,
French…
All spice and dice,
Here… there… everywhere,
Kisses now foreign,
Touch… an illusion,
Self-hugging in memory,
How I wish I embraced you more,
Cherished the moments,
Stuck in ‘social distance’
Drizzled…
Raining in thought,
Tear gassed by emotions,
Catapulted into heavy renegades,
Streams of regret,
Bursts of fear.

Day upon days,
Liking that once was felt,
Became a slowing pity,
An act of damnation,
An empty cloud of sorrow,
I guess absence breeds loneliness,
And loneliness breeds distance,
In turn, that turns into self loathe,
Wallowing in a boat of self- pity.

I’ve been through it all,
With caged birds…
And singing birds!
Emotions on the line,
But we’re learning to cope as we coup.

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