If loving was a sin, I guess I will just have to burn in hell. Why does it matter when you love someone and they don’t even show it? How can getting into a relationship be on a mutual decision and then switch to a one man effort? A heartbroken soul sighed.
I fell in love with a “Narc”. It started as a fairytale. With the constant texts and calls.Something I call “Love bombing”. When he blows my phone with loads of texts and calls. He didn’t wait to tell me he loved after the first month. He was always singing it like a lullaby to put me in my feelings. I knew I was a smart girl and didn’t deserve any thing that was going to drain my energy and worth but trust me when I tell you I didn’t see that coming.
He told me I was Special and he was glad he met me.
I believed him when he Said it. I blushed when he teased me whenever we were together. I just knew he was the one for me …… I was deeply in love with a “Narc”.
I wasn’t wary. He came on too strong in the beginning.l didn’t know I was being lusted for. That wasn’t real love. He didn’t wait for love to grow within.we hardly knew anything about each other. Every conversation we had was just exaggeration about his accomplishments and achievements with grandiose. He didn’t care about my caliber. That was me deeply in love with a “Narc”.
I fell in love with a “Narc” who’s teases became constant chastisements. He made it a habit to always pick on me and say mean things to me. He made jokes that were not funny with hurtful lines and anytime i cried,he felt powerful. His goal was to lower my self esteem. My reactions didn’t seem to change him but rather reinforce his behavior.
I didn’t feel confident about my self anymore. I felt everything I did was my fault. I was guilty for being sensitive. I was always finding ways to make him good in the other person’s story.l just had to apologize regardless. That was how deep my love was for a “Narc”.
I didn’t sign up for a friends with benefits situation. I saw him when he looked at the other girls with those vulture eyes and when I spoke about my feelings,he called me crazy. Yes! I was crazy about a “Narc”.
I fell in love with a “Narc” who wasn’t sorry for his actions. He never saw it right to apologize when he was wrong. He wasn’t willing to compromise. He wasn’t sorry for missing my calls and not replying my texts.
I decided to detonate the love bomb but he just knew the button to press to get me ticking. I just didn’t know how to let go because he knew I was deeply in love with a “Narc”.
Are you reading?….
Did I detonate the love bomb? Yes I did! I had to “get the f**k out of loving a“Narc”.I had to remind myself that I deserved better and not settle for less.
Don’t fall in love with a “Narc”.