Wa-kan-da Love

Wa-kan-da Love

Love! Love ! Love ! Lo….ve ! L…o..v….e..! Or is there something else like that? I guess not. Everyone at a point in their lives love to be loved but the problem is how much love will your significant other give you when you don’t love yourself first.
I love him but I don’t trust that he loves me just like I do. It breaks my heart that he can go a day without hearing from me. I don’t think I have trust issues. I just know that I’m in love and this love “dey totori my brain”.


I visited my therapist and she told me it was Love addiction. The desperate need to find someone to love and not be alone or rejected. Should I be scared?? That sounded like something I wasn’t going to recover from.
It wasn’t my fault that I was love addicted to him . I was just anxious he was going to leave me again . According to therapist Becky Whetstone, the feeling of your partner leaving you is a sign of love addiction. She said , the feeling of being needy, insecure and anxious will arise.
Unfortunately girls and guys are completely different at how they deal with things (and everything else actually) . Girls tend to overthink things to the point where we end up needing reassurance, sometimes constantly . We even expect him to give it to us, to show us, because if he cared he would atleast try to right? And if he loved me he would fight for me right? Unfortunately for us girls, guys dont think like that and our insecurities lead them to feel like they cant do anything without us getting mad or worse, they end up feeling suffocated .
I know you’re at home crying wondering how he can so quickly go on with his day like nothing happened. But as hard as it is, let him enjoy time with his friends, it doesnt mean he isnt upset or doesnt care. He’s probably a love avoidant person. The kind who’s emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable.


I asked my therapist if Love addiction was some kind of disorder that could ruin me . She smiled and showed me an abstract of a research from the Elsevier European Journal of Psychiatry .“Even though love addiction is not recognized by DSM -5 as a specific diagnosis, there’s enough literature data to support its characterization as an independent mental disorder“.

Very soon I go dey craze because of love…Lol..

But wait oo… Do you mean to tell me most of these mad people we see around could have gone crazy because of Love?


Ewooooo …… I no wan craze because of somebody pikin wey go leave me las las ….…. Never!

Love addiction doesn’t sound as bad as it is but the only way to come out of it is to admit and sought help from people who have faced such problems before. It may be daunting to admit but then, admitting a problem doesn’t change the fact that you need help.

I need help ooooo …… I no wan craze ooo…..


Now listen! According to research by Schaeffer, love addiction,is described as “an attempt to satisfy our developmental hunger for security, sensation , belonging and meaning”. That simply means that, without a partner one cannot feel whole.

Who lied to you Ma? Who told you that you can’t find that satisfaction within yourself? I know that body no be firewood but Excuse me ,Adam did not die when there was no Eve . Loneliness will not kill you!


Aunty, you too dey like boys… Learn to have female friends who would encourage and support you to love yourself . They’ll always be there to recite that line that says “and lead us not into temptation ” no be everyday una go fight over man.

 


Love addiction is just an obsession we can break out of not some kind of bondage that will hold us down forever. Every relationship we find ourselves in (platonic or romantic) teaches us lessons that should strengthen us and not break us. We should always learn to see the brighter side of life when we don’t get what we expect. “
“No go dey craze on top any man matter , you deserve better”.

Share this:


Like
Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
111
Did you enjoy this story? Then pay a tip to subscribe to their email list and get premium, exclusive content from them




What do you think?

Join The Tell! Community

Read, and write on Africa's most creative community for writers, thinkers and storytellers

Get Started