STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE: THE BEST OPTION FOR A CHILD?

STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE: THE BEST OPTION FOR A CHILD?
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A lot of women who are being abused by their husbands have a distorted view that staying in a marriage no matter the amount of sufferings they go through is due to wanting stability for the children but what they don’t know is that they are slowly killing their children. Children brains’ are really delicate at a young age and they tend to relieve their childhood days and experiences when they finally get to adulthood. Research shows that children who were raised in an abusive homes tend to commit crimes and suffer from psychological illness. Children bond closely withtheir mothers and don’t want to see them in pain. When a child witness his/her mother being abused by their father, they feel helpless and cannot do anything other than cry, then the father is categorized as an aggressor and they become scared of him and hate him. A child that is raised in an abusive home will always remember his childhood as that of bad memories. Children tend to remember significant things that had a very big impact which occurred in their childhood, do you want your child’s significant memories be that of you being abused? The good memories he had with his father will be blocked away in his brain and what he will only remember is that his mother was always beaten by his father. When a child keeps witnessing his mother being abused, the child could suddenly react one day and want to fighton behalf of his mother which might have a negative impact. The reaction could lead to the killing of the father or giving the man a scar he would never forget in his lifetime. To the woman who stays in an abusive marriage for the sake of the children, what of if you get killed by your husband, is that the stability you want for the children?

Is that the best option for the abused?

Some women stay in abusive marriage because they are scared of facing the world on their own. They are scared of facing the responsibilities that will fall on them when they get out of the marriage.  Most abused women are the one taking responsibilities for the caring of the home, the children and even the husband himself, so why are you being scared of the responsibilities you are caring for already. Some women will say “mo fe da le mo su ni, mi de fe ma fe oko ki ri ni” meaning they don’t want to be a divorcee and don’t want to be jumping from one husband to the other. Let me put a question across to you “Are you happy staying in that marriage?” what you don’t know is, you are stronger than you believe you are.

Some women stay in an abusive marriage because it is against their belief. The three religions (Islam, Christianity and Africa Traditional Religion) is against “Divorce” but they are not in support of abuse. Did God create you for suffering? According to these religions women are to be well cared for and not be abused.

Staying in an abusive marriage is not good for the physical, emotional and psychological state of the abused and the children. Do not let yourself be physically abused by a man. Staying in an abused marriage for the sake of the children is really bad for the children. Most children from an abused home tend to abuse their partners or tend to look for partners who will abuse them when they become adults because they don’t anything other than ‘Abuse’. Children from an abused home tend to develop anxiety or any other psychological illness. Do not suffer in vain. Being abused destroys the behavioralcomplex, the abused and the children of the abused tend to develop minority complex. Save yourself, save your children. Be against physical abuse and do not be abused.

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