You look for what you don’t have. Meaning happiness will always be without you not within you. Even when you find it, it will evade you.

A man once was asked a group of people what is it that they want out of life? Many answered family, riches, achievement, and fulfillment. He then asked them why they wanted these items or experiences in their lives? In one form or the other, they all spoke about how they would be happy when they attained those goals. In that answer lies the challenge.

Socialized concept of happiness

When you watch your average Coca-cola commercial what tends to happen? There is great food, a great and good looking family and a bottle of Coke. As the family dines together and enjoys the food they smile. As a result, what happens to someone who is not with family? Even worse what happens to someone who can’t afford a bottle of Coke? Should they not smile?

Every commercial you watch, every reason why you have been told to work for something has been based on a flawed paradigm.

It’s based on the concept that happiness is conditional. Hence back to the answer, ‘They would be happy when…’ Meaning you will be unhappy up until you have what you desire.

The other way this manifests itself in day to day life is when we say I do it cause it makes me happy. It assumes that happiness only happens when you do a particular activity.

What’s really happening?

You are postponing your happiness. You are always waiting for something to come your way for you to finally get it. What happens when you get what you have been desiring?

For most of us, happiness becomes fleeting. It comes and goes. You sit there with a family with new problems. Your wallet is heavy but you are still unhappy. What if you find out you just got a First Class Honors? You achieve it and then go back to being unhappy.

The cause for this challenge? Happiness is a habit. If you wait to cultivate it when you have something, you would not have learned how to actually hold on to it. As a result, the things you desired will bring new forms of unhappiness your way rather than bountiful happiness.

So what do we do?

We learn from the genius of happiness, Children.  Think about it. What is the number of times you have found a toddler smiling for no good reason? Just staring onto a wall and having the biggest smiles off their lives?

The lesson a child teaches’s us is that happiness has no name. Happiness is not associated with anything else. It is independent and you can connect to it anytime.


Think about it this way. In a room with two groups of people, one of them shouting and screaming and another humming, which group of people do you tend to hear? The shouting group of course. However, does that mean that the humming group is not there?


When you ask the shouting group to be silent you will hear the melodious sound. This is the same for happiness. It’s only that the groups of people are within you. Most of the time we are listening to our sentry mind tells us all that could go wrong. All that is not happening according to plan. What that is, is the noise. The loud group chanting you into a state of happiness. The hum is always there. So how do you listen to it?

Close your eyes. Then tell yourself to connect to happiness. It works! That is all you need to do! You just need to connect with it. Cause it is always with you.

Share this:

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
Did you enjoy this story? Then pay a tip:

Tip author

Write first comment

What do you think?

Join The Tell! Community

Read, and write on Africa's most creative community for writers, thinkers and storytellers

Get Started