In the serenity of the campus love garden of the unique University of PortHarcourt. Chike and I as usual are here spending some quality time playing, making jokes, hugging and smooching in the privacy of the finely trimmed hedges, flowers and tall trees carefully dancing to the rhythm of the soothing breeze. Just as the moment was building up in intensity, Chike in some form of guilty countenance drops the bombshell.
“Ella, in as much as I would still love to hang out with you, this relationship can no longer work.” He utters hastily, extremely tensed and avoids my eyes.
“Wh-What do you mean, and why? Did I do something wrong?” I press, moving closer into his space until I could feel his breath caress my neck as I follow his shy eyes.
“…maybe I no longer feel the same way about you, Ella.” He drops again, managing to return my gaze and battling with his fingers.
“But we’ve come this far. Chike, I am your perfect girlfriend.” I voice out searching into his eyes and planting my right palm on his chest; generating the gentlest of touches. I could feel his heart beat like a leaping buck.
“Yeah, I think that’s the reason we have to end it here. Erm…see Ella, I used to love you okay, I really did and I’ll miss our beautiful moments together. And for the record, there’s no other girl. So please, don’t make it any harder.” He persuades, pulling me closer into his grip. I really wish I could just lay in his warmth and cry all this away but no, so I pull back.
“Chike, look into my eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore, tell me all this is one big joke. Please tell me you didn’t mean any of what you’ve just said, tell me you still love me…this joke is no longer funny.” I aired rather impatiently, faking a smile saucer-eyed. The benefit of doubt in a silver platter and I have my fingers crossed. After another round of quiet, he breaks.
“Oh Ella, not that face…not the eyes please. It won’t work this time as much as I hate to see you cry. I have made my choice.” Kaboom! Just like the ‘twin towers’, my heart collapses and it finally dawns on me that it’s happening again…my biggest fear.
“You can’t be serious Chike, you can’t be…at least give me a reason”. I utter blankly but with potency in my eyes. I could feel my limbs shake and my soul shatter but I have to be strong for myself.
“Hmm…honestly, you’re just too good for me, Ella. I can no longer cope with your cooking, washing, the gifts, the care, the bid to stop smoking, no late nights, no drinking, study classes, church services, and the no sex policy…my friends now shit on me. I really need some air…maybe there are things you can’t change about me. I like my hood. Ella, I am deeply sorry, we can no longer work.” He recounted.
And like the weight of a ghost, I find myself several steps back and I hope to keep floating back to my hostel, right inside my room, into my wardrobe where I can beat the now teary clouds in crying my heart out so, I could squeeze life out of it.
I mean this is the most embarrassing day of my life.
I can’t live with the memories of Chike still in my head and worst of all, his last words to me. What can truly satisfy the heart of a man? I had spent so much time, made so much effort and sacrifices for this relationship to work. I tried to be his dream woman and this is what I get, a heartbreak.
“Is it because of my no sex policy? So, the kisses are no longer enough. Why are relationships so hard for we Christian girls?” I wonder aloud?
“This is so not fair!” I screamed, doubling my steps. “Ah,…Chike,” I sighed.
Talking about what’s not fair, if only I’m aware I’d just blacked out, brushing against the refuse heap by Mandela hostel, Abuja Park. I stumbled and hit my head badly.