I do not know what to write.
They say we all have stories to tell and each day is an interesting movie, but that can be a lie. Some days are a long stretch of the same scene. It takes a miracle for something worthwhile to happen. Some people might say inspiration “will come from staring long and hard enough, describing the setting and just soaking up the scenery.” -That might be their reality but it’s not mine.
I cannot say the exact reason why I write. Some writers claim they write for the gratification of people. Others say they write to amuse themselves, and whatever they feel is good to them is no man’s business. Maybe that’s where my problem comes in. I write when I have an epiphany. It’s like the whole idea just comes to me freely and lovingly, urging me on.
Like the last two stories I wrote. The first time, I vividly remember I was laying on a chair when the story idea hit me; it flowed right through me and I completed and edited the story that night. Every part of my being saw what I had written and declared it good. The feeling was exciting and satisfying. Second time was at a gas station. I remember I had watched the biography of J.R.R Tolkein earlier in the day and was still in awe of his life and works. My thoughts were clouded with “I want to write like Tolkein!!!.” I had accompanied my father to the gas station. I was sitting in the car waiting for the attendant, and there the story hit me. I remember writing and feeling “oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! This is it!” I hadn’t even thought of writing, but this complete picture came to me! My keyboard was dancing. Muse was flowing right through me.
Now that’s where my problem lies, “these Hits”. Now I know whenever I get an epiphany, I am producing a masterpiece. It’s a no-brainer. That’s the thing with my Hits. They say good writing lies in consistency, but unfortunately, my epiphanies are not consistent. Does that make me a bad writer?
I know I cannot continue to depend on the feelings and highness that come to me once in a while. Or can I??
I have tried to write without Hits and they haven’t been totally awful, but I have struggled in most cases, too. I either end up abandoning the stories or devaluing them. I try to tell myself that without my encounters I can still write beautiful pieces. Maybe this goes back to the Why Do You Write Question and What Do You Write?
Do I write to satisfy these urges as they come, or do I write because I am an inborn writer, created to tell magical stories to the world?
Oh wait! I think I just had an epiphany…