I Hate The Mornings. I Hate The Light

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I love the nights. I love the darkness. The peace. I love the lights off. When everything is out of sight. When all the distractions die down and I can focus. When I’m alone. I can finally rest. 

I love sleep. Under the covers, the warmth of the bed, the relaxation, the soft sheets and blankets… pure bliss. I hate the light. I’m in love with darkness. The nights are always peaceful for me. Everyone is asleep. The world has died down. People are taking a break from their daily shenanigans. I love the night. I hate the day.  The light in your face is like a bright fire illuminating your face only that it doesn’t burn. I feel like it is trying to expose me. The light in the morning is a reminder that you have to wake from the slumber, and start to toil. Just as mankind was ‘cursed’ to do for the rest of his life. The light is like a reminder that life is always on the move. A daily reminder that you have to get your ass up and start your tribulations. Mornings usually consist of me fighting myself to not throw my alarm clock against the wall. I probably sound like a lazy person, but forgive me for liking comfort. Forgive me for wanting better than to worry every time about what is to come next. Sue me for not wanting to tire just to survive. We all feel this way. It’s just that we are too cowardly to admit.

Anyway, now that you know I hate the light, I hate it even more when I’m woken up by it. When the first thing that hits my face is the light. Almost as if it has come for battle. It hurts my eyes.  

I’m always counting how many hours of sleep I’ll have. Before I finally close my eyes, I’ll have to know how much sleep I’ll be getting. How long till the freaking sun comes up and reminds me to get up. More often that not, I’m stressing that I’ll not get enough sleep, and I keep thinking about it until I end up losing sleep and how I’m wasting my sleeping time🥴 It’s so frustrating honestly. 

I thought I was alone but turns out, there are many people who hate mornings just as much as I do. I sought to find out why? Why does my Mum have to shout my name every morning? She thinks I’m lazy. So, I googled it. Turns out, it is actually a scientific variation. 

A person can either be “phase advanced,” or “phase delayed. Phase advanced to mean that they feel tired in the evenings and cannot process things quite well. Phase delayed means they don’t feel tired until late at night and they feel so tired in the mornings. It is actually quite common in teenagers and young adults. Probably explains why my mother doesn’t have problems waking up early in the mornings. Also explains why I have to snooze my alarm about 4 times.  

I am not alone. I know some of you reading this might be like me. Leave a comment.❤️

 

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