‘For me to be truly happy, I have to have … ‘
This is what we tell ourselves. ‘In order for me to be successful I need to have this or that.’ Whether for you it’s a six figure income, an award, a huge social media following, a certain status or office, there is always that one thing that we all want and we feel like we’d finally be happy if we got it. And sometimes we do get it.
But, have you ever had everything that you wanted or needed yet feel like you are missing something. Everything you would need, but still lacking. It’s like a void that cannot be filled by acquiring more. It feels like there’s more out there that you want but you can’t seem to acquire.
You ever sat down and felt like, what you have is not enough. What you have doesn’t fulfill you. You need more. But not of what you have. You need more of what you are lacking. You start to think, ‘ Surely, is there something wrong with me?’ ‘How can I explain my dissatisfaction? My inability to feel happy about everything I have? All the blessings in my life?’
I felt this way. So I went on a quest. A quest to find out why, despite having everything I needed, I still felt like something was missing.
I discovered the cause of this discontent. It’s a five letter word. RULES. The rules we set for ourselves. The ones that define and establish what has to happen or what we have to have so that we become happy. Content. Our contentment comes from us achieving or fulfilling these rules. When we have not accomplished our targets, our goals we feel unhappy. Discontent.
Discontent comes in when we focus on what we don’t and cannot have instead of what we have
I think that a person, like a box, can be full but still have a space within. A void that is not yet filled. Don’t get me wrong. You can be grateful yet feel discontent. Dissatisfaction doesn’t equate to ungratefulness. Being discontent means that maybe you felt that you could achieve more. You could do better. Sometimes, discontent can be a good thing. It can push you to achieve more. To want more and chase more. Exhibiting a feeling of lack or discontent is not the same as being ungrateful.
How do we begin to feel happiness from everything we have and what we don’t?
GRATITUDE. Being grateful is the key to contentment.
Considering all that you have and feeling blessed. Looking at what you have and being thankful. When you realise that you are not entitled to anything and that everything you have is a gift, you start to appreciate the goodness that comes with every single thing we have. Every breath, every meal, everyday we wake up, health, family, friends, a home and everything you have. It’s a gift. It sounds simple, it sounds benign but it is the reality. It might be hard especially when all you do is focus on what you lack, but when you start being grateful for what you have, you start feeling content.
So, today crush all the rules you have for yourself. Choose to be grateful for what you have. Choose to live life at a time appreciating what you have and working towards what you’d want to have. Set attainable goals that are in line with your reality. It’s all about the little things. Everything is a blessing.
What do you think?