Grafting the gold in me
Falling in love with my friend was one beautiful experience that took me from the world. I admire his manner of talking. His level of intelligence wows me the most. Sometimes, I wish my eyes could say it all but I kept restraining myself knowing we weren’t meant to be. My feelings didn’t even consider that I was a year older than his age. I wanted him but Yet , I feared that my love will play me false .
My fears was however True, He never loved me. There was only one thing that existed between us. It was friendship and nothing else. You don’t need to ask about how I felt when I saw that he found a lover . I felt a burning sensation of Jealousy, hate and bitterness. However , I was jolted to the reality that he was never mine and we weren’t meant to be. I asked several questions ? Questions like why not me? I saw my Worth running down the gutter of depression.
I decided to face the reality . The reality that he was never mine and he will not be mine. I decided to embrace my beauty, aura and confidence. I realize I am special and dynamic. So what If, he never noticed? I believe my special and dynamic nature was made for my future husband, who will appreciate my existence and make the world a beautiful place with me.
I do not hold grudges against him who never Loved rather I am happy ,his decision opened me to the reality of a feeling that was never true.. My heart prays for him and his lover that their love will blossom forever. I do not hate his lover .I do congratulate his love for finding a special soul to bond and grow with.
I am happy .The right to dream is free . I dreamt about a love that stole my glance but however walked away. That glance didn’t steal my right to dream . I will continue to dream until I fly in a love that is mine.
Diary of a conservative and Re-served lady.