Who broke the pot? Find the defaulter?
Background Song: ile oko ya( It is time to go to my husband ‘s house)
Ile oko ya(It is time to go to my husband’s house)
Eleda maa sin mi lo( my creator go with me)
Ile Oko ya( It is time to go to my husband’s house)
The wedding farewell was the song cheering the marriage ceremony of Apeke. The whole town went red as men were gorgeously dressed in their Aso oke (buba and dansiki) while the women rocked their Iro and buba with different African hair styles. Apeke had been apprehensive and moody. She had cried profusely at the Ekun Iyawo function not necessarily because of the function but for the water loo that awaits her. Her father and mother were ecstatic , they had trained her well and they were giving a full grown woman out , who is complete and original. Fresh wine ,the new Iyawo Osinkin.
Baba mo mii loo( Father ,I am going).
Egba adura fun mi( pray for me)
Iya mo mii loo( mother ,I am going)
Egba dura fun miii ooo(pray for me)
Ki ma mo osii, ki ma mo ya ni ile Oko ( I shouldn’t lack anything good)
Baba mo mii loo( Father ,I am going)
Jowo gbadura fun mii ( Father, I am going , pray for me)
The Earth received the prayer of the mouths that tasted the salt and pepper of the marriage ceremony . Her parents knew the sky perceived that their prayers were that of love for their daughter who is going to a new house forever. She cried as she was being led like a sheep to be slaughtered in a royal like arraign and protocols. She was going to her husband” Adewunmi”.
Won gbe Iyawo lo ile oko( They are taking the new wife to her husband’s house)
O keee ( she is crying)
Won gbe Iyawo lo le Oko (They are taking the wife to her husband)
O keee ( she is crying)
The Processesion was being followed by people carrying the gifts that indicated she was”ogidi” obinrin fresh and untouched. She was received wholeheartedly by her husband’s family . Her feet was washed , ready to tread “Adewunmi’s home “ as a bride. Her mother-in- law took her in for the great Ritual that defines her as a woman. That night is presumed to be the night she would feel the touch of a man for the first time. She was given the white clothe ,the white clothe that would guarantee her test for the night. The eye and the mouth of the onlookers were already waiting and cheering Adewunmi who has the right to break Apeke’ s pot.
Adewunmi came in to his bride, praised her beauty ,caressed her face, laid her back down for the great ceremony of the night. He found pleasure in her even though she cried all through the act. Adewunmi looked at her after the ritual was done, he asked for the clothe , she turned and the cloth remained as blank as it was. “You are an incomplete woman” . He hissed and left angrily. She was left on her knees begging him to keep her secret safe but he left without saying a word. The crowd outside waited for an answer, His look told them “she was incomplete”. The crowd dispersed and Eru Iyawo was returned to her father.
Apeke cried her heart out,she was deceived and raped by a man she thought loved her. She cried because she was not immoral, she was of a good character but how could she tell her father who had arranged her marriage without her consent. She cried at the thought that Adewunmi never loved her.
She cried so badly that she didn’t come out to see the setting of the sun. She was of good character even though her viginity was gone.
Adewunmi had gone to his friend “Alani” He kept fuming , insulting Apeke. She was a mistake for him.
“Adewunmi” are you sure you love Apeke’” ? Iru ibeere wooo nu? What kind of question is that? You know she alone I desire. Did you bother to ask what went wrong. I don’t need to ask , I don’t need to, the law of the society says “ she should be found untouched” . Every other men found their wives complete , shouldn’t I? She is immoral, I tell you Alani . Adewunmi! Alani called. I put it to you that you are Immoral in character. Ewo! Kilode! How can you say that to me. Just yesterday, you were Initimate with Alake, Omo Iya Alate, for the past two weeks, you have slept with a total of 8 maidens. How dare you call Apeke’ Immoral? . Adewunmi sighed! And said but I am a man. Alani, so being a man gives you the license to be immoral right? Aseni see ara re ,olohun see enikan….you better go and support the woman of your dream. Apani o ni Fe ki won gbe ida ko ja ile ohun( The killer doesn’t want the machete to pass through his house).
Adewunmi returned home to find the corpse of Apeke. She had written a note. Adewunmi, Iku ya juuu esin lo( Death is better than shame), I was raped by Adigun( Omo Baale, Alakowe) , O digba.
Lessons: We live in a society where traditions are valued . One of the traditions is the sacredness of virginity . Though, the generation of the world today have considered it archaic ,it is still as important as it has always been. However, we have lots of ladies who lost theirs to men who can’t tame their libido. The society has neglected the tradition of a fair system. If ladies are charged with the responsibility of keeping their virginity intact but men are allowed to be lackadaisical about theirs, How will sanity be ensured. The man that is not bound by law to keep the sanity of virginty will coerce a lady to break her viginity. When the deed is done , the woman is castigated and called “immmoral and loose” . The unfortunate truth is that the lopsided belief of the society has caused us to deal with issues like unwanted Pregnancy, Abortion, STD( sexually transmitted disease) , HIV and Aids, Rape, Pornography and many more.
Until the society see that there is a need to train both girls and boys to be sexually pure, only then can we keep our society out of problems.
Train both gender to keep their Virginity!
I am Jeenioluwa ✍️✍️✍️✍️
Photo muse : Julianah Oloyede