Owambe of the Century

Owambe of the Century

Its a glorious Monday people
How was your weekend??
I donno if its just me ooo
But this weather lasan ko tie fe ye mi.
All in all,let’s keep warm and stay safe🤗.

You see when all these nigerian mothers are retelling you the sweet history of your life ehn,you’ll begin to wonder and ask”ejoor ooo was it me that did all this ni??”

Even when you remember they’ll still make you surprised.

I mean just imagine they tell you something ya beating your younger ones for😂.

During family meeting last night i was casted😂and now before you will hear behind my back…lemme cast myself🙂.

3 things you should note before you go ahead.
•I was 5 years old.
•I was 5 years old.
•I was 5 years old.

So,it all started on one owambe day.
We were attending the wedding of one aunty like this sha.

I didn’t even know that the wedding of those days were done in halls….i tot it was all a canopy something.

So even then we had the bubbling parties ooo.
What do i know sef.

Anyways,this day my mum said she dressed me up..when i saw my picture😣i wanted to propose straight up.

Haaa I’m beautiful even from back in the days.
My hair lasan😉
Shoes 😢why do we even have to outgrow those beauties

I even had one of those plastic bangles(who remembers them??)
Rainbow colours 😂😂but my own remained like 4 sha.

You know now,the normal aso ebi attire that every person will wear.Mine was a gown with all those shine shine designs on them(i donno what they are called).

I don’t like attending the church part of weddings oo😂😂I remember sleeping off in all the ones i attended when i was little.

The most embarrasing part is all the weddings i have gone to,that i went for the church service i was either the little bride,flower girl or any of all those numerous list they do😂so that we will just feature.
It is well ooo.

I donno if I’ll still sleep now oo,its been long i attended a wedding😣……

Oya you SEYE🙄yes you…..ya next in line for marriage oo.

So😂😂😂where was i.
Yeah the wedding.

So my mum said after we left church,we went to the reception for the MENU MENU tinzzz.

Note:Anything you do, anything you do,make sure to always never carry a child to a party you know nobody😂😂.
I mean,its very risky😠.

You ever been at a wedding and food is being served left and right.Ya in the visible middle and you don’t get shit😂😂

This was the case of this day.

But you see my mum🙂when i told her that”People are eating oo…me im hungry”
She didn’t call anybody,she sent our driver to get me and my sister snacks and icecream😛😜

In their face mehnnnnnn🤑
My hot mooma.

I ate it to the brim,enjoyed every single bite😏,ravished every crust and left no crumbs.

But i wish we could be having those sweet leverages of those days now.

If you want ordinary pie😂you wee buy it yourself ooo.

After eating everything,i wonder what on earth i was doing oo .I mean if im going to any party today,it me and my phone ooo.

Not like i’ll understand anything all those old women will be laughing at.

And me too i will grow oo😞

Anyways ooo They brought food😂They brought party rice.I mean party jollof rice and fried rice with big cow meat and fanta😃

You know the feel you have to eat that party food before you leave,the feel that taste alone gives you,the way those hands of yours grip that beef like yout life depended on it.

(Why dont we use chicken for wedding sef)🙄

You know the shocking thing my mum said i did??

She said i collected the plate and ate rice
After all the snacks i stuffed my mouth with.

I still ate rice.
That’s just not it oo….the rice i was served was the same thing she was served too and i still finished it😭😭😭.

As if that was not enough i about to drown the fanta down my throat.

My mum warned there was no toilet ooo as if on cue as i took a gulp of that drink,the worst happened.

I wanted to pooh-pooh(i have no idea what the correct spelling is oo)

Ever a earthquake,Hurricane and Tsumani start at once in a place???

Oh i have and it all happened in my stomach.

I tried,i tried to twist and speak to it to stop
But it didn’t 😭
My stomach betrayed me.

After 30 mins that i couldn’t hold it anymore.
I spoke out.If looks could kill.

I’m not supposed to be here telling this story.

My mum was soo angry,furious with rage but all i could do was plead 😢with my Japanese eyes☺.

After trying to search for an alternative solution,the last resort was to head home.

The wedding wasn’t even near the end and we just had to leave.

Out of my mum’s anger the driver took us.

We had a 2 hours journey to cover up before we reached the house.

Our driver😍The Lord bless him drove so fast and that point in my life he was faster than ghost rider sef.
I owe him alot of gratitude.
He got us home faster than expected.

But that car ride wasn’t a quiet one oo😂,my mum didn’t fail to lash out on me.

Now i see why i don’t even eat when i go out😂😂and to think i was picky.
Ase…..I’ve been disgraced.

Getting closer to the house it was becoming so unbearable.
It felt like i should get down and run but i couldn’t.

I had been holding it all the way from God knows where.When i arrived at the gate of the house,i was just going to get down and go inside,finish and sleep and let us all bury this experience inside us.

But as you know na,all my wishes always come with an extra large sized smoothie.

I stepped out of the door and 2 mins everywhere burst.

If felt sooo hot😂😂my tight gown made it soo sticky.I wanted to cry soooo bad.
When my mum turned i jumped straight into the gutter🙄.
I have no idea where that thing came from sef.

It was a good day oo

The deed had already been done abi🤷‍♀️
I finished every thing i wanted to do inside my gown

(Thinking about it sef😣)

My mum brought me water,soap and my towel and said”when ya through come inside”

😂😂she left me

I spent close to 2 hours cleaning and washing.

I threw my underwear away.if not that the gown was new I’d have thrown it away too 🙄

We have grown now.So if we ever go out and i say im fine😂…I’m fine ooo. Take no offence.

Author’s Note
😂😂😂😂Hi Guys
Tell me,Have you ever experienced this??
Well me🙄..uhmm….😁

Thank you for joining SANDRA on this casting ride today.
I do hope to see you on the next adventure.
Don’t forget to Like 👍 and drop your comments.

With all the love in my heart i wish you a great week ahead 💞


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