When my mind is a blank slate

When my mind is a blank slate

It’s monday again😊
I know i didn’t miss today😂😂
The beggining of a beautiful week.

The sun is shining and the wind brings messages from the far beyond.
I’m it’s interpreter and ive been sent to tell you that this week holds beautiful goodies😉.
But only for those calm enough to let Monday have her way.

Happy Monday 😂😂.

Have you ever started a day with a blank mind??
A mind in which the stars are shining glittery and the sun shines brightly all at the same time.
In your mind,the sky of your mind just turns black and it feels like you have nothing to think about.
But then you realise your mind is indeed full of wonderful things.

When this my blank min series happens….i already know what’s coming

-Business
-Money
-What i need to do
-What do i need to buy
-What’s on my list

But today it was different.

I woke up this morning with a blank mind.A very beautiful blank mind.
I sat down today,with my arms behind my head and i let the feelings buried deep inside me to surface.I let my mind run over the stories of my past.I remembered the fights,especially the ones that i didn’t give the accurate reply 😂😂

Aish it pained me😂

But while my pasts came rumbling back, i remembered a piece of writing about Love that a friend of mine wrote.

On his piece of love,it wasn’t about the kind of love Tegha and Sandra have but about all the kinds of love he experienced while growing up.

And then i remembered my parents.

You know school is about to resume from this long covid break and my sisters are going back to school.

I remembered one time when my parents were low on finances and i had to wait almost a whole term and every night my Dad would come home look me in the eye with a strong face and say he’s working on it and that with time it’ll all be fine.

But each night,I’d hear him and my mum in low sad voices lamenting on how they weren’t able to get anything.

My mum who i spent almost the whole day with would just keep on sighing and look at me with sad little eyes.

My sister’s every single day they left for school would always give me this big little hug and tell me that God would always make a way.

And that was what kept me Moving.
I always belived that everything happened for a purpose so,i never fret.

Another time came when i was at the verge of giving up every thing,i was just gonna leave school,i was tired of people and my Dad would always tell me,

“To be that person you wanna be,you’d have to let the world trample you but what you should never do it stop moving”

My mum😂in her yoruba sense would always say,

“Kinni,see ehn all those people will still be the one to celebrate your success.so let them speak.”

It’s the same thing they say but the way they say it,just hits different and shocks different too.

But my brain just didn’t stop there ooo

It took me to my land of depression.
Yes😂i go through depression sometimes.
I wouldn’t say its depression actually but you know that moment when you think life has just ended for you and everybody is moving and you??

Ya just there.

It might not be depression oo but still i think that’s the word i can come up with.

So recently,i was stalking yes stalking my friends 🙄.

And then it seemed like things were working for them,they were growing and me i was just there just staying there.

Tegha would always say,”In life people don’t move at the same time,for every man comes his time”

But it’s not always easy😭…you know you see different beautiful things happening to them all day and you ya just getting fatter😂😂.
And then you’d begin to ask yourself,what makes mine this way.Why can’t it be like hers or his.

But you know,even the bible tells us that we were all made specially for a purpose even tje devil.So we all have different things to do.
So I’m for something different,and my time track can’t be measured by another.

You’ve seen this mulan movie right??
I feel its soo incomplete(i should write to Disney sef😂)

But that’s not the case right now.

During my mind blowish time today,i remebered watching it over a million times(im being honest with a sprinkle of exaggerations)but i know i watched it a large couple of number of times.

I knew all the songs at heart,i could almost see my 6 year old self running around the house,swishing a knife,riding a horse(that’s what made me love horses).

But one thing i remember by 6 year old self saying was that i was gonna be a Me person.I was gonna always stand up,be smart,confident and all those strong qualities but as i grew up i reaslised it wasn’t easy and i was very human.
But when i saw the movie,it was like a new fire within me was rekindled and i found myself not letting anything weigh me down.

I think about my friends,how i planned life to be so beautiful.
You know all those times you think that you’ll cruise and walk with your geng😂
But then you realise that sometimes not everybody is supposed to be in that your beautifil circle and no matter how much you try to always be on with everybody,you just realise that not everybody wants to be with you.

I also remembered one time😂😂this has all shades of hurt but still very funny.
So there was this guy i liked liked,was a bit older and when he was gonna get a girlfriend(well i wasnt it was just a like like thing with a lot of unfulfilled promises)he told me that while he was praying,he felt in his spirit to pray for me.

Oh wow,beautiful nice and wonderful.
He was quite a very spiritul persin

And then he tells me the prayer point and i just go off and operation anger😂😂

He told me about the prayer point,”To pray gor me that people don’t like me at first start and then they begin to loose interest in me.”

At that moment,i didn’t even want to know if it was really a prayer but i didn’t pray it and ever since then…The End.

So many things have transpired in my life and they all came flashing down this morning on my blank slate of a mind.

Then one thing came before my mum decided to wake me up from my supposed sleep so i could start today.

I remember one time my dad sat me down and told me i was beautiful he rubbed my head slowly and told me he loved me.

And just now did i realise that he does that for all his girls almost everyday.

And an image of my little self,kneeling beside the bed praying just flashed an then i realised my i’m still standing.

Love…True love never failed me for once.

 

Did i tell you guys i made my hair??

And it hurts so freaking much😂😂

 

Braids Geng😋

**************
Authors Note
**************

Wow😊

It’s a beautiful Monday indeed.
Have a wonderdul week guys 😍

Love,
Makson👣

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