Bullying as a point of discussion, hits differently in terms of perspective for various individuals. Unfortunately, this is the reality of a whole lot of humans’ daily- in terms of various activities. For starters, many usually see this as some story plot or a consistent theory in every regular teenage movie viewed in the cinema or at leisure- and not as something worth a thought, or realistic.
Although, unconsciously a lot of lives are shaped, and mapped out based on the accumulation of various experiences and happenings during some certain aspects of adulthood or even teenage hood. It could be as a result of various horrid experiences faced in the school hall way of life or by the verbal assaults received from peers, colleagues and parents.
Quite a lot, are as a result of physical, emotional and verbal degradation received from the four walls of an educational institution be it; Primary, secondary or even tertiary institutions. Unfortunately, bullying isn’t limited to a particular age or gender. It could as well pop out from any corner and from anyone.
The unsuspecting parent usually, mistakes quietness and “sudden meekness” in the child irrespective of gender as a welcome change for the “better”- and usually that isn’t the case. Majority of Parents prefers the calm and silent child to the “talkative or tattletale child.” Furthermore, commending the child for their misplaced and born again behavior- viz quietness which is a byproduct of fear and timidity placed into them as a result of somebody’s action somewhere. And the utmost, inability to stand up for themselves at that particular moment.

However, let’s not further deceive ourselves in this age and century into believing that bullying stops at the primal stage or at a certain age. Ironically, bullying could appear in any form, size and place. It could be in form of a comment in passing, sly jokes, boorish facial expressions, outright verbal attacks or the obsolete method of grabbing, and full-fledged battering.
Inasmuch as, physical attacks were the evidences of prior bullying. Like technology, bullying as advanced and is being gradually embraced as a norm and to be lived with. Sadly, 70% of humans receive the verbal form of bullying daily which could be from home, workplace and from even supposed best friend that’s supposed to have your back. The streets of social networks has a lot of evidences to test the “best friend theories.”
Words have proven to be of effect on mental health either for the positive or the contrary. As opposed to other peoples’ thoughts; each word spoken and received is usually dissected and ingested depending on the mental state hitherto of the receiver.
This is a major reason why a supposed ‘friend’ would insult you- and you in turn dish out your own lunch box of insults and still admittedly think about the incident. 

Especially the dissection of the abusive words uttered, to see if it holds any truth or not.
I’m of the opinion that each passing comment of distastes, more often than not, are hidden under the banners of jokes or the” I’m kidding” phrases we all hear daily. I mean, what better way to conceal judgments and ugly misshapen thoughts about someone without seeming like a “hater”?

Through jokes of course; which is undoubtedly smart.
Statistics show that bullying has been one of the major contributing factors to the suicide rate percentage. Irrespective of the monstrosity of the shield built and placed mentally by an individual, it could all be torn down gradually or shattered at once by a properly targeted hurtful and insensitive word or action.
And is a pointer and explanation to why most bullied people have esteem issues- the primary threshold for depression to sink in.
Biologically, there’s a term referred to as the food chain. This term applies in reality, I believe that a similar chain level exists as well. So in this food chain let’s assume there’s the lion-hawk-snake-toad– chain. 

From this analogy, the inference that lies therein is- there’s a kind of level difference that affects individuals and cause us to react in a toxic manner towards ourselves and others. For animals, it could be the lion and the toad- and for us humans it could be wealth, the popular group, your boss or rather that fellow at work whom the boss favors, your husband’s ex, or the neighbor whose home seems more heavenly than yours could ever be.

What am I driving at? What I am saying is mental health is no joke, and should be taken seriously right from the start and the home front.

In retrospect, and on careful observation hurt and people with personal problems are sometimes and usually the ones who intentionally hurt others. At times, when life deals a huge blow to some, they derive satisfaction in seeing others suffering.

Sick and Horrible. I know-
For example, there are cases of young kids; as young as 7 years old bullying others. A 7 year-old boy could be coming from a place of hurt, perhaps a troubled home and as such- vents out his or her anger and feelings of hurt on other people that are on the lowest level of the food chain.
Symptoms irrespective of its size are important.

Attentiveness in this world of ours- is an important culture to inculcate. Positivity is the next huge thing to be preached and mastered as a person and to others, at the home front, in dealings, at the workplace and absolutely everywhere.
It’s heart wrenchingly sad, that 60% of kids get bullied and the home front which is supposed to shield the child from such trauma till the child is ascertained to be able to stand tall on his/her own isn’t aware. I mean most parents are usually shocked when they find out about their child’s ordeals with bullying. And yet, the next best thing they utter is; that their kids didn’t inform them.
Honestly, bullying is not something anyone would reveal carelessly. Usually, the victims find the experience shameful- to even confide in a friend. It is the Job of Family, Parents, Friends to be observant of their loved ones wellbeing. Moodiness, unnecessary enthusiasm, unexplained withdrawal, sudden low spiritedness could all be signs and a way to know something is off.

Unfortunately, we are in a generation where surface issues are more pertinent than deeper problems. This is fatal, people could as well be planning their funeral while a huge blinding smile is plastered on their faces. There are usually tales of people who had just finished motivating someone and committed suicide next. Lets. Pay. Close. Attention. Always.
The society has got work to do, in terms of the negative light been shed everywhere. And those centered on the negative light- usually jump for joy when someone else joins the fold; and the attention shifts away from them, to the new person.

This is why, my bafflement knows no bounds. When a so called PTA(Parent, Teacher Association)- meeting is held in schools and revolves more around the welfare of the school building than what makes up the entity called school: The students.
This piece is simply my clarion call into consciousness of the words being said, jokes being uttered, and to the home front to look deeper. And we as individuals be wary of ourselves because the idiom “action speaks louder than words” in our society of today has become a double edged sword.

Let’s rather strive to understand that our ‘words’ and ‘actions’ are an extension of what makes us who we are. And could be an embodiment or an accomplice in sending people to their early graves. “The pen is sharper than the sword” is another adage that contains a huge revelation like no other. As our pens now vary, no thanks to technology- and proves to be highly mighty. Fatally consequential. From the inked words typed on WhatsApp groups, the comments left on people’s Facebook walls and Instagram handles. The pen’s might has been proven unrivalled- adequately so.
In less than three months, two awfully young and extraordinarily talented Female and Male Korean Celebrities have taken their own lives. All because of what? Heinous social media comments dropped carelessly by people who simply couldn’t agree with controversial thoughts, values and orientations.
To the general public, People matter, you matter, your words matter, your actions matter. Parents, can we pay more attention to our children and cease to raise them in toxic and unhealthy environments?

Society, can we quit being judgmental whenever we don’t agree with certain people’s controversial opinion or lifestyle?

In conclusion, can we be an unconditional vehicle of positivity and nicety?.

And stop bullying – sorry, killing people? Oops.

Melody Tobi-Makinde’20©

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What do you think?

  1. This is great, and worth sharing… receive strength for greatness in Jesus name.

    1. The sad part is that most of us don’t even know that what we are doing is bullying.
      At times kids even get bullied at home by their parents and siblings.

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