Mental Riots(2): The clash of intellect

Mental Riots(2): The clash of intellect

Feminism in itself isn’t just a task meant for the females only but it includes the males in every sense of it. This is why I’m baffled whenever I see the males move a step backward whenever they hear that their friend or a prospective girlfriend is a budding feminist. They are of the mindset that she’s too rigid or something of that sort, which I believe is wrong. Feminism in the coming years will reveal what it is truly about and cure almost everyone of what they feel it should be or what they certainly feel it is. Because almost everyone has a different school of thought on what feminism is, there really isn’t even a common ground or foundation to stand on.
But from my perspective, the common ground I feel feminism has from a humanist side, is that it pertains to the male just has it concerns the female.
A common example which happens at workforces, especially in the entertainment industry, is the objective use of females by whom? The males of course. I mean, the average female clamoring or looking for a job and the one with one, most likely has tales of being coerced into sex in order to get what she wants. If a survey is conducted on such ubiquitous tales, most responses would reveal that the sexual objectification of women have become norms and is subconsciously becoming a normal occurrence.
There is also the case study of models and video vixens being harassed or molested while simply trying to carry out their jobs. The nail I’m trying to hit here is the crooked general mindset or view of the male towards any female. I believe if we are being truthful to ourselves, there’s just a subconscious concept of the roles of the female in the minds of every man; grown either by friends, the home, or what he sees. But the males owe it to themselves to become a better version of themselves every single day with or without the feminism movement.
Another propelling force I feel compounds to the degradation of females, is the African parenting method of the male and the female. The males are usually taught differently from the female. Recently, I had an interesting conversation with a friend. He made a statement which goes; “These days I’m being made to cook every time like a wife.””
I refer to this statement every single time, but it doesn’t hurt to say this again; “Cooking, dishwashing, cleaning aren’t chores specially designed for any gender, but a necessary evil to know about by both genders. Cleaning and cooking is a general survival tool that both genders are supposed to be equipped with.
Now back to the conversation I had with my friend. After he uttered that statement, I was shocked to say the least. I nearly choked on my own saliva and then I asked him why he particularly used the word “wife”. Then he said that cooking was natural to us ladies and I found myself laughing uncontrollably in incredulity. I soon regained my composure, shook my head and told him point blank starting with the word ‘natural’.
I explained to him that the word ‘natural means innate, that it was something embedded within a person; adding that it was not every female that has the natural love for cooking. Hell, not even all chefs have a natural love for cooking. Females aren’t naturally wired to cook as perceived by the society. The defective perception is simply a result of the daily grooming in kitchen affairs by mothers in a bid to prepare their daughters for a blessed marriage. Hence, leading the notion to become a norm since in this part of the world, it is perceived that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
I have always wondered why whenever a female is gunning for a political position at work; other females are either scared for her, or are sure she won’t win. The only conclusion I manage to arrive at is simply that the male folks won’t allow it. If not, why would males try to talk a woman down especially if she’s married? Why would they assume that the position won’t allow her have time for her children or family? For the single ladies, they say, “Why not drop your position and invest the energy you have in getting a husband? Definitely your eggs cant wait forever.
This is really frustrating and upsetting for females. I’m of the opinion that a position isn’t designated for only one gender alone; it’s only a function of the capability of each person gunning for it. And for the down- talked average married women, why can’t they have both a great career and a great family? There are tons of women out there who have successfully managed both for Gods sake.
Infidelity is another important issue that disconcerts me when it comes to gender. Since cheating is the societal norm in relationships nowadays, I often wonder why the society praises the promiscuous man and reprimands him less and then admonish the woman to forgive him; whereas, when the woman commits the same crime of infidelity, she is crucified, most times not forgiven by the man and even further used as a case study for other ladies. See the unjust disparity? Why is it this way? Is it a crime to be female?
Apart from the typical African scenarios, according to, research shows that in 18 countries, husbands are legally allowed to stop their wives from working even if it is against their wives wishes. In some other countries, there are also restrictions on how females can renew their passports. I mean, typical male ego asides, why should you stop your wife from working if she wants to work? Why should men be given the legal power to fire their wives on the basis of its in the familys best interests?
The society isn’t even helping issues by glorifying marriage and projecting it as a major achievement for the females. This is why many of them find it hard to leave toxic and abusive marriages. Some advise endurance, but what if the lady loses her life during the process of enduring?
The particular phrase popularly pointed out for reference is the “for better, for worse vows usually exchanged. The advisers hardly care if lady loses their sanity and happiness during the process.
The bone of contention here aren’t the men per say but the way things are done and what some males believe is normal in their manners of action and utterance.
In addition, recent researches show that men are paid more in the U.S than females,just because they are men. I know that fellow men when they have their daughters won’t want them shortchanged just because of their gender.
Here is where my vehicle of thought leaves me – Each passing day, we should review our views on life and societal norms. As someone anonymously said: “Choose your principles wisely,and watch where thoughts may lead to”
Tobi- Makinde Melody 0’19©

Share this:

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry
Did you enjoy this story? Then pay a tip:

Tip author

What do you think?

  1. Nice write up. My view about this feminism thing is that it is akin to female slavery. Men have the upper hand in almost all societies than women which should not be so in the real sense. I agree

Join The Tell! Community

Read, and write on Africa's most creative community for writers, thinkers and storytellers

Get Started 

%d bloggers like this: