The chaotic reign of Feminism

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Feminism is for those who know its “what”,its “worth” and its “worst”. -Tobi-Makinde Melody.

Today, most people claim to be Feminists without understanding what Feminism truly means. The current form of Feminism is actually just a mix
,remix and variation of different versions, opinions & ideologies.

The truth is Feminism has no solid definition yet, nor a common ground. In my opinion, feminism is meant to be about fight for equal rights of the girl child; growing,grown,young,old,vulnerable in different shades,shapes and sizes.

In my opinion, the major problem with Feminism is the fact that most people have no inept understanding of what it truly means. Which is why nowadays on social platforms what we see feminism as is,”confused”.

Feminism should be about empowering the girl child, not making her feel less than she is, but making her understand that she’s human and therefore has no limitations.

A vivid example is a typical African parent telling a lady to bend down to sweep the floor because she’s a lady.

“Common bend down and sweep. Don’t you know you are a lady and a mother to be”.

This doesn’t make any sense, to say the least. Why didn’t she justify her statement by saying if the back is bent, the floor will be swept properly?

I believe that being a female goes beyond being a wife or a Mother.

I believe Feminism came into being out of the interest of the females over the world at large, not this ruckus of instability in messages it’s currently passing across.

It’s no news that the feminine figure is a fragile figure usually sex shamed or vice versa.

A common example is rape; a very disgusting act. Most times, people tend to blame the victim for nude or wild dressing.

I’m not clamouring for indecency in every sense of the word. But is that really an excuse?
If it is to you,dear reader what do we say of perpetrators who stoop so low to rape a month old child, two years old children and so on.

Can dressing still be blamed or our misplaced sense of thoughts?

• There are thousands who believe but find “feminism” to be a word that connotes equal right and a movement that doesn’t align with their personal beliefs or values or religion

• It’s abundantly clear that our specific views on these issues are rooted deeply in our own personal and direct experiences, rather than on any data, research or science surrounding the issues. (In other words, if we’ve personally faced discrimination, we know beyond doubt that it exists. But if we haven’t faced it ourselves, we often doubt that it happens.)

• A conscious and unconscious gender bias is rampant within us as a society and the world at large. An example is the notion that a Woman is for the kitchen and the “other room” as our President once stated.
This notion bamboozles me to say the least. And most parents do well to encourage the notion unconsciously.
It’s a realism that cooking is a basic tool for survival both genders must posses either male or female. Same goes for dishwashing,ironing and the likes.
Its not a Job or position meant for a particular gender. It’s an ultimate skill that must be possessed by each and every living being.
I’m usually surprised when sentences like “She’s the woman,she must cook” come up.

I’m of the opinion that as a woman you are not bred or cut out to be a cook.
Either in marriage or outside marriage. In marriages there’s supposed to be a sync Meaning both genders are to work together
The media world isn’t exactly helping issues with the way females are portrayed,and have portrayed themselves.
But either ways I believe Feminism is about individual perception and understanding of how powerful the feminine word is and will continue to be.

Feminism should be about giving a voice to females.
Giving them the Knowledge of their power and how limitless they can be. How limitless we all can be.

I would rather we awaken the elephant in the room ” concerning the days when the Lady was always or only allowed in the Kitchen”. Because she’s going to be a Mother and a wife someday.
And the man isn’t allowed in the kitchen or better still trained not to shed tears because he’s a man. And a lady can because she’s a lady.
With the world evolving i believe its time we call our priorities into order and break the charade of “the she’s”or she,or because its a she”

I will therefore liken myself to Rebecca West who said ” myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.”

©Tobi-Makinde Melody

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What do you think?

  1. In as much as you have written so well to certain extents, I also find some of your initial paragraphs blurring. I wrote an article titled “My Feminist Trailer” and I sent it to but until now, it has not been published maybe I need help…
    That been said, the theme of feminism is centrally clear, but the many approaches to it are vague, perturbing and sometimes contradicting. Simply put, feminism isn’t all about the “girl-child”, rights, and freedom”, it also concerns ” males”. Feminism is the deconstructive act of every patriarchal territories, it is the new-colonisation of growing children, it is a cry against subjugations, a fight against dominance and a call for equilibrated living. Hence, everybody is affected directly or indirectly by the feminist call. However, the approaches like I said before introduces a variety of problems. The western and European feminist do not even categorise African women as “women” firstly, before even imagining them in the movements. Then, African women first, fights to be recognised as women before fighting for basic rights, for it is only when there’s a central recognition that the chances for dialogues are created.
    In summary, though,I am still going to reply you in particular, the problem is the use of the phrase “give women their rights”. This is problematic because nobody ever took these rights to himself, the rights were not given to men with the conditions that they should be released to women only when they recognized they ought to have rights. And women too have not taken time to understand that the rights as given to men from creation or from wherever in-so-far as it has been since ages past, are also given innately, naturally and freeborn to women too. Thus, feminism like you earlier stated should be understood critically, with the sense of putting every segment into perspectives on a rational, natural and universal table.. Thanks Tobi Makinde Melody.. Nicely written!!!

    1. Hey Igbokwe. Your mind is obviously full of amazing ideas. We would love to publish your works, but we haven’t seen any from you yet in our emails.

      Did you send it to

      Nonetheless, you know you can actually publish by yourself simply by creating a Tell! account. Kindly visit to Get Started!😊

      We can’t wait to read more of your amazing ideas & help you share it with World

      Best Regards,
      Toheeb Ojuolape,
      Cofounder, CTO @ Tell!

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