ice cream bowl

The plan with Kayode was that the babies wouldn’t come till the third year of marriage. Part of the plan was also to have loads of spontaneous sex in every single corner of your home in those first 2 years of marriage. Staying celibate for 18 months of dating wasn’t beans. The celibacy journey was harder for you because the longest you had gone without sex before Kayode was one month. That was during the month of Ramadan that year you were with Azeez.   

But you met Kayode, and you fell in love with him. You were determined not to make his preference for celibacy a stumbling block for the relationship. You laughed so hard your belly hurt the first time he mentioned his stance on premarital sex. He asked you what the joke was and you told him you didn’t think it was possible to love someone and not want to touch them. 

Kayode was your breath of fresh air on different levels. It was Kayode who introduced you to the Discipleship Group where you gradually started to rediscover your Faith in Christ. Kayode was the one who sent you loads of free online materials to hone your scriptwriting skill. It was Kayode who gave you 100,000 naira to start your shoe business which failed before it even started because you were scammed by an online vendor. Kayode was the one who also funded your okrika business which became so successful that you were able to save up to make substantial contribution towards your wedding ceremony. 

After your first year of marriage, the womb watchers resumed duty. Your mother was the chief womb watcher. She called you over the phone one Wednesday evening and asked if everything was alright in your  bedroom. She didn’t believe you when you told her it was a conscious decision to delay childbearing. So, when she came over for Christmas that year, she brought you 1 gallon of prayer water. She said her prophet spent 8 days praying on the water; 2 days for each of the 4 grandkids you were going to give her. You wanted to tell her part of your marital plan with Kayode was to have only 2 kids, but you decided it wasn’t necessary. 

You didn’t throw out the prayer water. You didn’t drink it, neither did you pour a capful in your bathing water every morning for 4 days as directed by the Pastor through your mother. It was Carol who drank all of it. It was only such a weird coincidence that it gave birth to a litter of exactly 8 puppies some months after mating.   

On your second wedding anniversary, your mother called you to ask why your stomach hadn’t started to protude. You gave her the same answer you gave the year before, but she still didn’t believe you. During her Easter Visit that year, she brought you 4 pawpaw fruits. According to her, her prophet spent 8 days praying on the pawpaw fruits . He said God revealed to him on the 8th day that  you would be as fruitful as a pawpaw. You wanted to tell her that it would be a literal disaster if your seeds were as numerous as that of a pawpaw, but you didn’t push it. This time around, you ate the pawpaw because you reallyyyy like pawpaw.    

You didn’t take in till the 5th year of your marriage, even though you started actively trying after your second anniversary. 

The cravings started in your first trimester; from peanut butter to chocolate to ice cubes to burnt beans and so many other cravings you can’t even remember. The weirdest craving you had was the desire to eat chalk.

 When you first told Kayode about it, he said you had to pray this craving away. Prayers didn’t work and Kayode eventually got you a packet of chalk. The craving only went away after you ate two sticks. There was the craving for spicy food at some point and Kayode would tease that the amount of pepper you ate would make your child hot-tempered.

Your  cravings peaked during the second trimester and you wanted just one thing. Amala. 

You wanted Amala every single time. You wanted it in the morning, in the afternoon, night and midnight. It wasn’t just any Amala. It had to be Amala from Swallows Buka at Lekki Phase 1. 

When the craving came on 15th December 2019, Kayode  called Swallows Buka but none of their delivery guys was on ground.  Kayode decided to drive down to get it for you. 

Abidemi’s second birthday is in a week and Kayode still hasn’t returned home with the Amala. 

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What do you think?

  1. This always happens every time I read one of your piece, I stay glued once I read the first paragraph🔥 Also, your knack for plot twist is something! I mean, what is that ending na😭 Then that Amala part, o wrong na😒

  2. Wow! What the hell happened to him! I need to know or it’s gonna haunt me for life!

    Brilliant piece!

  3. Amala just had to be slandered one way or the other. No tip for you! 🤦‍♂️

    Great piece!

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