They say it isn’t a good  reason to marry a woman;

That you have to look beyond that, and focus on other things; like her values, home training, how well she can cook, whether or not they have history of madness in their family etc.


They say it is fickle;

What if acid pours on her after your marriage?—you wonder if they really think people in Lagos walk around with acid.  

They ask you what happens if she loses that which binds you to her she she gives birth; 

They tell you the stress from raising children changes  a lot of things about a woman, including that which binds you to her.

So, they plead with you to focus on other things; like how educated she is, how well she can assist the family if you lose your job, how soon she will remarry if you die etc.

They agree with you that it is in the eye of the beholder; 

But, they ask you to allow them be the beholder. They  think your googles is distorting your vision, and the color of her skin has blinded you. 

They tell you she isn’t all you think she is.

 Then, they draw your attention to her lips. They say it is as wide as yours, and it would be a disaster if your kids take the lips.

They say choosing her only for that which binds you to her is like going to the market and choosing to buy a full container because it captured your attention without checking its content. What if you get home and find out that the content is bad?

“But, what if it is not bad?” you ask them.

“What if the content is as good as the container?”

“What if I can see clearer than you all can see because of these googles?”

“What if in addition to that which you term fickle, she has all these traits you said I should look out for?”

“What if she doesn’t even have those traits?” 

“What if what truly binds me to her isn’t what is on her face, but what she carries behind her?”

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