From Adventure to Misadventure: The Story of Two Broke and Curious Lagosians

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As humans, the decisions we make don’t just define us; they make or break us. Sometimes, they are the determining factor behind us spending the rest of our days in kirikiri (behind bars) or not. There’s a beautifully amusing rush that comes from getting yourself involved in stuff you know nothing about. Well, now I know the reason why the best adventure movies start with an unexpected occurrence. Take a look at Jumanji, The Chronicles of Narnia or Jurassic park, for instance. If you haven’t seen any, just stop reading already; I don’t like you.

There are two sets of people in life: the planners and the ME type. The planners know how they want to spend their day, life and every second of their time. They have to-do lists, not to-do lists, do the do lists and much more, which I’m clueless about. The ME type flow with the wind, *inserts the song – This life I can’t kill myself o. Are we lazy? No-no-no. Let me shine more light on this. We plan too, but unlike a planner who drives straight to their destination. We stop at intersections to buy snacks, meet people, party, try out new stuff, get more fuel (because we didn’t plan how much we’d need from the start). Each day for the ME type comes in a different shade, but for today I will talk about what happened to my friend and I.

Get your popcorn and drink ready. Don’t say I’ve never helped you!

The day was the 29th of July, 2021. I was trying to get my emotions in place as my internship had just come to an end. We had our send forth at Radisson blu hotel; it was my first time being there, but was it enough an adventure for me? No. The day before, my friend invited me to the Eko culture event set to hold at EbonyLife. I was pretty reluctant to go, but a friend encouraged me, and later on, the only sound that hits better than Christmas bells popped up ‘my salary credit alert notification’! For some reason, this pumped me even more. So, by 4 pm, I found my way to Ebony Life place, which is stunning, by the way.

There is just something alluring, uniquely beautiful and rich about the Yoruba culture; the melodic beats of drums lift your spirit and take it to a point where you can make absolute sense of every beat; you feel a connection with the rhythm and sync with the flow. If that just isn’t magical, I don’t know what is; this was how I felt at Eko culture; going there is one of the best decisions I’ve made this year. The music, arts, poetry, the dance made it all intriguing for an art lover like me, I got to see Khaffy, Mo Abudu, Ara the drummer, Bovi, Burna boys mum! (The gbedu just entered my body straight).

After the event, we had one thing to do, which was going home. But no, the day was still young and full of fun (even as it was around 7 pm). After making our way to the rooftop at EbonyLife, where we scanned their menu and acted like we were buying something because we wanted pictures (don’t blame us, it has a beautiful ambience). We spotted Eko hotel just across and decided to head down there. 
Now, did we have any business? Nope. Did we know what we wanted to do? No. We got into Eko hotel, which 90% of the people visiting were coming in with cars. Oh well, we decided to make an epic entrance with our LEGXUS 2021 model.

There is no wrong time to make the right decision, but there are plenty of right times to make wrong decisions.

We took a stroll around, but my friend wanted to take a look around the hotel. I don’t know the Nike spirit of Just do it that entered her, maybe the Níkẹ́ spirit from the Níkẹ́ art gallery artworks at Ebonylife entered her and got confused somehow (Níkẹ́ dey disguise as Nike, lol).

After parading everywhere, I thought we were headed home until she stepped into this section with an elevator which I had no idea where it was taking us. There was this man in the elevator, but we paid no attention to him. (Only if we knew). My friend pressed the floor 7 button (maybe she was trying to elevate her way to perfection. I have absolutely no idea). But it didn’t work; the elevator didn’t move. She pressed it again, but nothing still happened. At this moment, we didn’t even realize we had fucked up; we were just confused. The man behind us brought out his hotel card, swiped it beside the control buttons, and it worked. (And at this moment, the two adventurous Lagosians realized they had fucked up).

So, the elevator at Eko hotel doesn’t work without a hotel card. Oh no, oh no.

We made it to the 7th floor, stepped out of the elevator, and as the ding sound of the elevator faded, we looked each other in the eyes like that passionate moment in movies when two love birds know it’s time to kiss without uttering a word. But instead, we realized there was no way to go back to the ground floor. “How will we go back?!” I exclaimed. My friend looked puzzled and scared shitless. The hotel aisle was as silent as a graveyard; there was no one in sight. I imagined a scene from a movie where the next thing we’d see was a security camera picking up what we were doing, and I froze. I even imagined how humiliating it would be when people laughed as the security guards dragged us out of Eko hotel, with our legs hanging in the air as they wouldn’t reach the ground as two of them each lifted us by our shoulders. (short girl struggles)

God, you had just one thing left to give us, HEIGHT!

Well, my friend, who knows how to think under pressure, recalled that every hotel has an emergency exit. We ran around, trying to locate it, and Voila, there it was, shining brightly, just like the entrance to heaven. With our hearts beating ten times per second and our legs racing faster than Usain Bolt’s, we started descending the stairs from the 7th floor. Now, this place is an emergency exit; nobody passes there. It was dark, desolate, enclosed, small and creepy. My friend was panicking so bad. For me, all I could do was laugh. It was not funny, but I was laughing so hard I almost tripped. (I don’t understand this my laughter any longer).

At last, We made it to the exit. But the door leading outside was blocked with a huge rod. Were we not supposed to be scared about what could be behind that door. What if there were famished Caucasian Shepherd or Rottweiler dogs? What if it was a high voltage area people were not supposed to go near? What if it was a hideout for top-secret government ammunition, and on seeing it, we’d had to be killed? What if we came across a freshly murdered corpse, and we were the only ones in sight? What if the cameras picked us and the security thought we were at Eko hotel to steal? We were not thinking at allllllll. Luckily for us, it was the location of their industrial generators; it was noisy and void.

Shey this is how my enemy will die. Who would tell this story

It was so petrifying and spine-chilling that we couldn’t even walk around, and we were forced to go back inside. We started elevating the stairs again, panicking, scared shitless; I was still laughing, though. Maybe, just maybe, it’s my coping mechanism (dear God, what’s wrong with me?). We tried opening the door to the first floor, but it was locked. The second floor closed too; the third and fourth floors were also jammed. Only then did we realize that the doors don’t open from the inside. Oh, we were done for. Our luck was running thin, but just the right amount of thin to luckily find the door to the 5th floor opened.

We were back to the entrance of the elevator, but we had no card, so we were still stuck. With the last strand of luck hanging wherever it was, a man came around. My friend and I faked a conversation so he wouldn’t suspect we were waiting for him. The elevator door opened some minutes later, and we made a run for it. He swiped his card and pressed the floor button he was heading to, so did we (Ground floor of course!)

We walked away from the area; we walked as fast as a lady on a dark street, noticing her stalker is approaching her from behind. We walked like someone with a stomach upset in public, trying to make it to the toilet before experiencing the most embarrassing moment life could ever bring forth. We thought the security would race after us as we exited, but we couldn’t run, so we walked the walk of our lives!

Oga, I swear no be thief we come thief. Na adventure we come do.

One day, 2 locations, an experience of a lifetime. I’m glad to say I am not writing this in an enclosed room with water dripping from the cracked ceiling, a mat on the floor, the top I wore that day as my pillow and a toilet with rats parading about every minute. We laughed about it when we got home and thought about the million and one things that could’ve gone wrong. The adventure turned into a misadventure, but we made it! Glorrryyyyy!

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What do you think?

  1. Without reading further, I was already helping you think of how you’ll get back to the ground floor. I’d be crying if I met the door locked at the end of the stairwell if it were me😂😂. But this sure sounds fun, kudos🥇

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