I died a long time ago, it’s been ages since my Death after my last hope turned to dust. I had given my all to something I believed in, I prayed and felt like I was in God’s very own palm
I dreamt and believed in miracles. It was a 3 stage test and I passed 2 stages like a queen fighting pawns on a chess board which gave me the idea God was with me.
when I got to the last stage, it came crumbling down like walls of Jericho.
That was my last positive energy, puff it left my system like choking gases released from the anus.
I felt sad whenever I failed.
Emotions of indescribable sadness channels through my soul…
when I see my loved one cry over my failure.
But on this very day, I guess river run dry I felt nothing.
Not joy, not sadness ..just an empty hollow of numbness.
I stopped Believing,
Nothing does the trick anymore.
I lost all sense of humor, I developed a pachyderm words couldn’t penetrate.
I couldn’t remember what fun is, I lost my footing on the dance floor.
Music turned a mere distraction only to snap you back to reality and depression yet sets in.
I’m very much alive but I stopped living a long while ago.
I’m a grenade with a smile.
I’m but a zombie making everyone around me happy.