COVID-19 PALAVA

                                                     By: ‘Tunde Fowowe

Dusk fell almost surreptitiously, the dry cold harmattan breeze carrying in it’s wave, torrents of dust that manifested on the glass shields and metal bodies of cars parked at a spacious car park in Lekki  making it seem the cars were painted in dust. The imposing edifice of  Primus Bank, stood at the middle of the vast landscape.

‘Cosmos you ‘re still there? I thought by now you d’ ‘ve hit the road’.

‘Yeah I know,  the day is already yawning to sleep, I haven’t fully earned my pay for today’.

‘Are you sure that is what is keeping you up this late in the office?, Cosmos we  know you in this bank, before 6:30pm you ‘d ‘ve disappeared from your table only to resurface in the lovely arms of your new wife. Kola concluded with a note of mischief in his voice and grinning from ear to ear.

‘Well, Kola, you know it is not my fault that you are not married yet at 39, if that is what you are insinuating’.

‘No no no, Cosmos,  something seems to be eating you up, can you come out of your shell? I will like to know it’.

‘ Nothing is eating me up Kola, I am just tiding up a few things left in my reports at the same time waiting for the traffic gridlock on the Lekki expressway to abate’.

‘hmmm, good excuse though’. Kola exclaimed eyeing him from the corner of his eyes. ‘Then it seems everyone in this office is equally tiding up their reports and waiting for the traffic to ease something that ‘d never happened in this office at a time covid-19 is ravaging the whole earth  many leaving sorrow, tears and pain in it’s trail, that is enough reason to keep anyone busy in the office this late.’

Cosmos laughed loudly shaking his head and hitting his fist on the wooden desk.

‘So Kola, that is what you ‘d been saying, oh I see, look at a kettle calling pot black we both are trying to avoid contact with people and you are accusing me of staying up late in the office’.

‘I knew it, Covid-19 is the reason you are still in the office, shai, the fear of this screwing virus is indeed the beginning of wisdom’.

‘Of course, our elders have a saying, when you see a rabbit running in broad day light, you know something is after it life this is the period people do strange things in the name of caution’.

‘Cosmos, do you know several wives and husbands will be cheating at this time?   That thought made me to come up with a plan to recover my money I loaned to Ireti  since last year.’  

‘Really, how did you do it?’ Cosmos said looking startled .

‘Yesterday, I needed money very badly yet the loan I gave to Ireti was long overdue for payment, so I capitalized on the trust issues she has with her husband. I called her on phone around 7:30pm yesterday, she didn’t pick my call. I called ten time more still she did not pick. Knowing that her husband is not home so I sent her an SMS message, “Hello, Ireti, I’m not calling for the money I just want to inform you that two girls were fighting over your husband few minutes ago, it’s was a big fight, I was still watching, when one of the girls managed to escape into your husband’s car and they drove off’.

After some minutes she called back, but I ignored her. She kept calling and I found twenty-one missed calls from her and a message which read: “where was the fight? Where did they go? Did you notice those girls please tell me, I am falling apart”. I just read but didn’t respond. She called again five times and I didn’t answer, then another message from her:

“I have your money, can we meet so you can tell me more? Then I replied, “okay you can send it through mobile money so that when I pass by the filling station to refuel, I will pick you and drive you to one of the girls house because I know them.”

After two minutes I checked my account balance, my money had been fully paid, I then switched off my phone and slept like a baby.’

‘Chei, original bad boy, Cosmos yelled laughing, this Covid-19 virus does spew out some hidden talents.’ Both men laughed uncontrollably.  

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