I’m supposed to write a letter to someone I admire. I can’t think of anyone better than you.
Dear Happy Biyi,
It’s me, Sad Biyi. Ironic right, I can’t think of anyone I admire more than you. You used to be so cheerful, so happy, loving, kind, compassionate. You used to be me, at least a part of me, up until daddy’s death.
Everyone reminds me of a time before his death, when I was Happy Biyi. Always attempting to put a smile on someone’s face, so caring, so soft, beautiful both in and out. Then I changed. I became this girl. Sad, depressed and lonely. Even mummy says she doesn’t recognize me anymore. Nobody wants me. They all ask me where you went, and truthfully I wish you would come back too.
I remember you all the time. I remember the bright smile that was always plastered on your face even in terrible situations. I remember how you were strong and faced all your challenges head on. I remember how you loved everyone around you even when they didn’t deserve it. You were such a wonderful person.
I’m writing this letter to plead to you that you come back. I’m not fine without you. Infact, I’m nothing without you. At first I tried to fight it, I tried to fight this new person I was becoming but it was too hard and she won. She’s not happy, I’m not happy at all, sometimes I try to smile and laugh and be you again, but none of it feels real. My laughter feels forced and my smile feels fake.
Sometimes I fear I may never get you back. That I’ve been consumed so much by this part of me, that you are gone forever. I don’t know what I may have said or done that drove you away, but I’m sorry. I admire you more than anyone in this world, please just come back to me. The world needs you but I need you even more
If you don’t come back, I may be stuck like this forever. Cold, sad and always angry. I’ve not told anyone this but sometimes, I think of ending it. Just so I can escape from all the voices in my head. So come back okay, before this girl does something stupid
Yours sincerely, You