The text

The text

Boredom. The thing that almost cost me my marriage. Early that morning, I had been thinking about doing something for hours and finally made up my mind. I was going to do it. I picked up my phone and texted him
“Where did we go wrong?”
It wasn’t up to a minute before he replied
“Havilah, are you okay?”
I knew he would be surprised. This was so unlike me, even I myself was surprised at my actions. I texted back
“Can I call you?”
My fingers were moving but my brain wasn’t registering. What was I doing? And why was I doing it? My brain was desperately trying to give me a reason for my actions but my heart was racing too fast to listen.
My phone started ringing. I almost jumped out of my seat. Ebuka. My phone read. I took a deep breath. I could do this
“Hello?”
“Havilah, is this really you?
I laughed nervously “Ebuka, it’s me. It’s really me”
The other end of the line was silent for a while and I was beginning to assume he wasn’t there anymore
“Ebuka? Are you—“
“Oh. Errrm, forgive me if I’m taken back my this”
“I know. I’m surprised myself. But I really needed to talk to you”
I heard him sit up and found myself taking deeper breathes in order to steady my breathing. I was really doing this
“So… Your first text kinda caught me off guard. I don’t…I’m not sure what you meant”
“Ebuka, I just wanted to know…to know what went wrong. I mean, we were perfect for each other… We were going to build a future together. I don’t just understand how—“
“How about we start were you divorced me” he snapped. I flinched involuntarily. I heard him sigh in frustration.
“Havilah, I’m…oh God… I’m sorry okay? But I can’t quite wrap my head around what you’re trying to do here. This conversation? We’ve had it before. A billion times. Why would you even want to repeat it again”
I shut my eyes tightly. I didn’t want to cry. I shouldn’t cry because Ebuka was right
“Ebuka… I’m sorry. After I lost the baby, my whole life fell apart. I felt like it was me against the whole world”
“Except it wasn’t. It never was. It was me and you. You knew that …” He groaned again “why are you doing this… Why—” I heard a door open in the background
“Ebuka, who is that?”
“Ermm… It’s… It’s someone from work honey. Nothing to worry about”
That must have been his wife. At that moment, my brain finally caught up to my heart. It gave me a reason for my actions for the last five minutes. It was boredom. I had been so bored that I started to think, thinking whick led to regret, regret which led to me foolishly call someone I broke up with almost ten years ago. I was a happily married woman with two beautiful children. What was I thinking?
Ebuka was still talking when I quickly hung up the phone. I was definitely going to take those Spanish lessons my husband had suggested. A bored mind was really the devil’s workshop. I hated this lockdown.

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