When the pandemic ends

When the pandemic ends

When the pandemic ends, things would not go back to normal, at least not immediately. For some people, things may never be normal for them again. The fear of the germs and maybe even a new virus that may be out there, would have consumed some people so much that they would still be afraid to go out. Not me though.

All my life I’ve lived in fear. Fear of people, fear of animals and insects, fear of love, fear of hatred, fear of anything and everything.

When I was five, I lost my parents to a car accident, which was funny because at the time, my parents didn’t even own a car.

My parents and I were at the park that day. It was a sunny, beautiful day and I had insisted on going to the park. My parents at first were reluctant, but even at five, I was able to manipulate them to do my bidding. Before the crash, I was enjoying an ice cream and my parents were waving at me from a distance. My dad was yelling
“Vickie, we agreed to spend just an hour. It’s been three”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he returned the childish gesture while my mum laughed. I turned to say goodbye to my friends. It was just a second. Just a second that I turned my face away from them and they disappeared. There was a loud crash and my parents were gone. Crushed under a truck that was still moving towards me. Someone pulled me out of the way while I screamed for my parents.

Since then, I’ve lived my life in solitary and fear. Shutting myself out from the whole world. But when this pandemic hit, my eyes were somewhat open. The fear that this world might come to an end, overwhelmed any other fear I had.

My life literally ended that day at the park. I had no experience at all. I had not been living, I was simply existing. The most fun thing I had ever done was throw thrash on the road.I’m twenty five and I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I’m sure my parents would not have wanted me to live like this.

When this pandemic ends, I can think of a million things I would do. First of all, I’ll kiss the first boy who smiles at me on the street. I’ll have lunch in a public restaurant. I’ll go for a party. I’ll go to the cinema. I’ll do whatever come to mind. And maybe, just maybe, if I’m brave enough, I’ll take a walk in the park, that same park.

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