Someone once asked me what it felt like being a man and beating your wife
And I immediately answered and shouted
“Such a man is an animal and a disgrace to manhood”
But then I slowly felt guilt start a song in my head and a dance creeping throughout my body; finishing with a flourish
I was guilty of the question asked
But then I thought to myself
I don’t beat my wife, I love my wife
I don’t beat my wife, I reshape my wife
I don’t beat my wife, I try to make her better
Then the guilt started a new dance in my head
NO! I blurted in my head
It isn’t my fault if reshaping my wife is done through violent means
Tolu really never listens, and is really stubborn
I love my wife
Or Do I?
The guilt was just rounding up act two and was starting to make moves for act three
Wait first; how’d all these start?
How did I turn to such a monster?
When did each day turn to such a dread for my wife?
Where did I go wrong?
The questions began to set in after the guilt had left,
Then the pain, then the shame, then the bitterness,
After which the guilt came back and gave a standing ovation performance in my head;
I could hear my conscience, my mind and my brain all bowing and clapping
Ah, what a mighty performance!
Yes, I remember
It was the day I got demoted at work and went home angry and frustrated
And the food had no taste that night
Or did alcohol play a part that night?
Yes, 7 bottles of Goldberg made me feel like I was wronged at work
And what better place to take it out than my wife’s skin
She needs to trained to cook better and wash better and look better
The first few months felt like hell
Until it became a pattern.
I constantly ask myself why she still stays, but knowing no answer I conclude that she has learned to cope and survive,
Maybe for her child, I know not
But one thing I know for sure
It will happen again in time!
“Hurry!” I shout at the maid as I try to adjust my makeup, trying to hide my bloodied and bruised eyes.
To be continued……