Wisdom In A Year

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What do they say about January? Long, richly filled with work and a lot of getting used to. Well, I guess it was easier with a lot going on and a lot of multitasking skills for me, and the stress wasn’t too bad.

I picked and read two books in the last minutes of December and this January, actually more than two but for the sake of this post and topic, I’ll only speak about this two.

“HOW TO MAKE THE KIND OF FRIENDS THAT YOU WANT and HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 37 SECONDS OR LESS.”

  • Why did I pick up these books?
  1. A conflicting brand.
  2. A confusing relationship.
  3. Failure to love and see me among all the noise in this world.

…and right then, It clicked. I have met so many people and I know so many people but I create more synergy with women than I do with men, which makes my brand look like it’s only made for women, which is a lie and more. Lmao, it was just how I projected it. It’s not like creating synergy with women isn’t a good thing. For a fact, it is what most young men struggle to do and pay a huge amount of money to learn. But here, the problem is not me finding it hard to talk to women but I talk to women most of the time, which in turn projects a female-oriented enterprise” a little more than I wanted.

Another tangible reason is my inability to recognize my friends, and those who are not my friends, my inability to make my friends stay for longer, and the dangerous mistake of not following the 5 stages of friendship which has been crashing and destroying my relationships with women and even some guys all along.

Lastly, what do we say about self-love? It increases self-confidence. I haven’t found time to love myself enough not to talk of actually loving others. I have found out from these books that I have to love myself, be by myself find my own space, create magic in it and then bring people to see how much you do love yourself.

I’ll point out the best parts of those books that hit me the most. Shall we?

Lessons from “HOW TO MAKE THE KIND OF FRIENDS THAT YOU WANT”.

  1. 1. Create boundaries for every individual:

While my mentor was speaking to me about the pyramid of friendship, he made mention of subjecting everyone to a level of rules that guides their place in your life. This help to keep everyone on leash and at the same time close.

You are giving them a chance at being your friend and not the other way round. Choose who comes close and who does not, you measure their growth into your circle with a particular standard and what kind of circle do you intend to build. My mentor was quite specific, he said and I quote, “you have to be cocky about it, it’s your life! Ask the person what value they intend to add to your life and if there’s none, you can at that moment tell them off. No pressure.”

And I have realized that I actually don’t have a circle yet, not to talk of friends, all I’ve been doing is creating a massive amount of people who do not see themselves as my friends but I see as friends. I had to reshuffle stuff and I sincerely have this amount of friends according to the pyramid:

  1. 1. Acquaintances:
  2. Peer friends: Quite a number. (They are people who we share interests and learn from each other or at any point in time have any type of involvement with).
  3. Close friends: They are not more than two. And they, most of the time, shuffle. I don’t actually have a constant one for now, since I’m recreating and redefining the whole relationship thing. Those I consider part of my inner circle.
  4. Best Friends: Well, at this point. I am my own best friend. Lol. It’s a long story and I realized that loving who I am and the big, beautiful personality that I am is the best. So the position is vacant and at the same time filled up.
  5. Lover: The highest and the trickiest part of the relationship thing. Considering what I was taught, I’ve realized that this person you consider a lover must have passed through all this process of the pyramid to actually get to this place. You don’t just carry someone to this point and cry when they break your heart.

Lessons from “HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 37 SECONDS OR LESS”.

This one is about me, my personality, my projections, what people hear, see and think when they hear my name or see me. It’s quite unfortunate that for some years now, I’ve been marring this self-image of myself with other things that makes it easy to misunderstand my brand and think something else.

This book talks about the different types of brand. For example, 50% of people build an unintentional brand. They just live out their lives, projecting different things which us really not them, they confuse people about who they are, what they do and what they need to be known for.

It took some amount of reprogramming and clearing of air to get me to be intentional about what people say, see and think about me.

I’ll spell out some key things from the boon though. Here they are:

When creating a brand note these things:

  1. Be intentional about what you want be known for: More like carrying it on your head! “Produce that brand and state clearly what you want to do!” Like me, I rebranded myself to be known as “A Content write and a great conversationalist!”

And since I have been doing this, trust me, it’s working and I love the idea of rebranding. Maybe, I can actually add my framing and poetry brand later but for now, I am one of the best conversationalists you’d ever meet out there.

  1. Don’t hide it, project your brand! “Invade” people’s mind with what you do: There should be a trademark of you. Whenever people see or hear something, your name and brand should be the first thing that’ll come to their mind.

When you heat, AG baby, who would come to your mind?

Yeah, you got it.

  1. Protect your brand: Never ever let it be confusing, keep it from being nailed black. Keep it straight and simple.

It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

Here’s a copy of the review of my January read, I know you’d love to get it in your DMs or your email every month.

If you’d love to hear from me again when it drops next month, kindly put your email address in the comment section. Thanks for reading and God bless you.

Also, The Penlord will be writing about love in the month of February. It’s an annual event of poetry themed, “14-days of love”, I’d love to hear and see you engage the event on IG @the_penlord. It will surprise you how much more you can get to see love brighten your eyes and then maybe your thoughts.


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