The rain started abruptly but my legs weren’t willing to run for cover. There was something about that window that had kept me staring. It looked beaten by time yet stood so proudly as if boasting of the memories it had been a part of. The edges of the wooden frames appeared sick from the reign of termites but it still held the initials that I had boldly carved into it five years back. I could picture my feeble hands holding on strongly to the rustic nail as Avery had looked on. The night had looked so promising. She giggled when I told her she was prettier than the stars that had graced the skies that night. I had held her close to me and kissed her deeply for the passing night to see. We had been young and in love.
The ladder that had bore me in each time I had visited rested slightly on the wall. Going through the front door hadn’t been an option. The dog hated me; so had her step father.
Someone had put up the curtains; the blue faded curtains that had comforted her in its arms each time her step father had found out I had come visiting. I had watched from that same spot, able to do nothing as the curtains quivered from the quiet sobs that came from within.
The hole underneath the frame where Avery had tucked the letter before she had left remained unfixed. Her stepfather had decided to take her far away but she hadn’t disclosed the location. She had said she hadn’tt wanted me in her life anymore and that I shouldn’t look for her but I had been so sure it was his doing. The days had seemed to get lost in the vagueness of the night. I couldn’t find it anymore no matter how hard and frantic I searched.
Holding on to nothing but memories hadn’t been enough. The nights and mornings had come with a deep longing for a life that had slipped my reach. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. I had wished it ended there but the months couldn’t hear me. They had turned into years.
The years had brought along with itself changes. The old man that lived beside the house had slept on and the government had been changed twice. But the one deep within me stayed the same. It was worthless holding on. I knew but hadn’t been able to help it.
Suddenly, the sun had begun to rear its head again but it scared me to death.
I had seen her during one of my daily walks by the house. It had become a habit I couldn’t do away with. She looked prettier and her hair had grown longer, cascading down her back like rainfall. I had been angry that she had had the guts to appear in all her glory while I had been left with nothing.
All of my anger had disappeared the night she was at my place; the first time she had ever been there. I felt the urge to hold on to her tightly and never let go as she cried about things I knew I couldn’t bear to go through.
A sudden movement in the room caught my attention.
She stopped by the window like she had known I would be there. I watched the smiles in her eyes disappear as she took in my appearance- from my drenched hair to be sodden shoes. I watched as she heaved a deep sigh with a frown on her face before shutting the windows.
I had seen this coming.
I braced myself for impact as she walked into the rain with a bulging belly, heading straight for me. She was in the white loose blouse I had gotten for her the previous month.
“What on earth are you doing under the rain? The last time this happened, you fell really sick.” She looked so pretty when crossed.
I took her into my arms, sighing in contentment. Four years and two children after, with another on the way, nothing else felt better.