Breathing becomes almost impossible to me as I do the only thing my emotions permits me to at that moment- I weep. With my scarred hands burnt times without numbers in my haste to prepare a good meal for him placed over my face, I pour out torrents of fluid regretting things I did and those I did not. I weep for my dropping and over caressed breasts , I weep for the dreams and aspirations I thought I shared with him, I weep for love and trust.
He got back from his place of work with a look of despair and fear written all over his face and I immediately thought I knew what the issue was. He had told me the previous week when he got back with a similar look that Nneka, his boss made him work extra hours outside his time schedule and pay. He seemed to habour a deep hatred for her as I had seen him ignore her calls and grumble about how she maltreated him each time they travelled for a conference. I was so sure that Nneka had made my lover upset again and I resolved within me to pay her a visit. She might listen to me since we are both women.
He reached out to the wrapper I tie across my chest every night in a bid to satisfy his sexual hunger and keep him to myself, after filling his stomach up with a sumptuous meal of Banga soup and starch. Oghenetega mounted me like a young lad mounting a horse and I readily gave in as I had been made to understand that satisfying my lover’s need is my utmost duty towards him. He turned to his side of the bed after the third round with that same look on his face. I was bothered. Something wasn’t right.
I felt the hand I have grown so accustomed to tap me few minutes later. He said he had something to discuss with me. As an attentive prospective wife, I sit up almost immediately to be the shoulder my lover could lean on, only to be thrown aback with a blow to my heart.
The only words that escape my lips are ” I thought we were perfect together. I thought you loved me. I offered all to you- my body and heart but here you are, breaking them all to pieces. How could you do this to me? Did I do anything wrong? I thought she was your evil boss.”
He looks sober but his mind is made up. He is leaving. He is having his wedding in a week time. He is getting married to Nneka.