I was only 15 when I met this so-called “love of my life”. I was so gullible and was very happy to have found love outside of family and friends. We started out as friends and before long we both realized we were something more. It was partly a long-distance relationship and it wasn’t easy for me to survive that rough patch.
However, we were able to pull through and after almost 3years he relocated to the city where I lived. You know that feeling when your man is easily accessible to you, I was literally excited. Unfortunately along the line, things began to go sour for us. He wasn’t particularly happy with me for so many reasons I shall not bore you with. I thought days and nights about every aspect of our relationship.
Yes! we did love each other and understood each other. However, we both yearned for different things in our relationship. By now I was 23 and he was 28. I was almost done with school and he was being pressured by family to settle down. That led him forcing me to give our marriage a chance. But on the contrary, I wasn’t even prepared at all.
I had plans I wanted to achieve in life before deciding to get married and I was nowhere near to completing them. I tried getting him to understand that I’m not ready for marriage anytime soon. Besides, we had expectations from each other which we weren’t satisfying. There were a lot of misunderstandings which got blown up and eventually resulted in a breakup.
I was completely broken. Depression set in. I had given every bit of my energy and invested in this relationship for over 5years. What was I supposed to do now? I kept asking myself questions time and time again. He was the only person I shared my daily experiences with, my challenges, my dark side and my dreams. I couldn’t help it seeing my whole world crumble before me. I had no one.
I couldn’t see the end to this phase and never thought I could ever be over him. I mulled over begging him to come back. I pondered whether it would be a good idea to marry him. Oh God! I went over everything in my head to the point I was beginning to create my own hell.
In spite of the chaos, for some reasons, I was still sane and something in me helped me keep the faith. My instinct kept telling me the breakup was the right choice. I decided to trust it since I was left with no option.
Slowly, I started becoming intentional about my life, I found a creative outlet to express myself. I spent a lot of time recovering from suicidal depression and wanted to fix everything I thought was “wrong” with me. I began to regain the creativity and confidence of my youth. I began to reprogram my mind into the creative, stable, confident and artistic woman I’ve become.
3years later, I am a fashion designer with over 50 celebrity clients, my own fashion academy and a remarkable résumé. I was able to turn the obstacle I faced due to a failed relationship into an opportunity that has brought me into the path I am now. I am a happy person now and I am so much grateful to have the amazing life I’ve created out of the ashes of my past.
I used the above story to highlight how I was able to turn an obstacle into a great opportunity. It’s no doubt that we face obstacles at one point or the other in life.
But the question is, how do you handle those obstacles? Do you allow it overwhelm you? Or you overcome it and be a winner? The above story has answered it all.
© Chioma Ogunka