Disease Nor Dey Kill African Man: A Satire

Disease Nor Dey Kill African Man: A Satire

Covid 19 is real, but only to White people. Backs are immune, especially Blacks from Africa. Know this and know peace. Blacks outside Africa can be excused for adopting preventive measures to combat covid-19, erroneously thinking it applied to them. Decades of fraternizing with White people would that to you. While there may still be Black outside, their immune system is now White. If there’s an overflow of mercy, it can be extended to North Africans. Years of thinking themselves White have weakened their immune system.

Now is the time for Black Africa to shine. Covid-19 see colour. People who believe otherwise are a source of great puzzlement to me. Their forefathers, wherever they rest, would be rolling in their graves. Who gave birth to this woke batch of weaklings? Just because after a series of meticulous study, people with mere numerous certifications in virology and decades of experience said something is a pandemic doesn’t suddenly overturn many years of belief of invincibility rooted in the baseless disease nor dey kill African man mantra. Facts should wither and die in the presence of age-old belief and that’s that.

Some say people started dying across Black Africa at the same time Covid-19 was declared a pandemic. To these people, I weep. How can one be so brainwashed? Besides, is a coincidence a joke to them? or don’t they know that death isn’t a new thing to Black Africa? They should read up, maybe then, they will learn that even in times when death failed to come for us, we took matters into our own hands and took to killing ourselves. Book people called it genocide.

We die, even when it can be avoided, it’s what we do. Pandemic is fake news. This is not the first attempt. Malaria and Polio. It’s not bad to depend on God to solve such celestial problems. Why else do alarmists think we’ve only hospitals that can treat only headaches after all these years?

The one country handling this Covid-19 business well is Nigerian. On one hand, the government is doing its best to lose credibility (as it should be) by giving an incomprehensible covid-19 update. On the other hand, the people who see through their shenanigans do their best to discredit Covid-19 as propaganda (as it should also be). This fills me with hope. How often do you see people who stay true to their roots of self-destruct amidst pressure from abroad and common-sense to conform to self-preservation?

I don’t like how NCDC is forced to awaken from its sound sleep every time a fancy new disease shows its face. First, it was Lassa fever. Then, Ebola. Now, it’s Covid-19. This is unfair. NCDC should be allowed to chill.

Why the hell do we even need NCDC when we have God?

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