HOW TO ENJOY LIFE AS AN INTROVERT

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Sometimes, being labelled as an introvert could be worrisome. As an introvert you struggle to answer questions such as ‘why don’t you hang out with others?’ or ‘why are you so shy?’ In fact, many will call you boring. Many times, you would wish you could come out of your shell and act boldly like your extrovert friends. Somehow you just can’t. And just because you can’t keep up with the energy of extroverted persons makes people call you boring. This has psychological effects, both on the mind and on the body. If you have ever had the feeling of being inadequate because you are not as outspoken and outgoing as the extroverts and the ambiverts around you, you are not alone. There are many of us who are like that.
Being an introvert is not a bad thing if you learn how to cope with it and develop ways to enjoy your solitude. It is not your fault that you are an introvert and you simply can’t wish it away by making it drain you in every way.
As a social being that we are, one of the god ways to enjoy life and stay happy is to be certain you have at least one person that is always ready to listen to you no matter what you have to say and is patient enough to tolerate your excesses. Because you are an introvert, finding that person could be somehow difficult as you enjoy your own company more than being around others. Sometimes I have difficulty talking to people the way I wanted until I took the advice of a friend. If a new person asks about how my day is going, I don’t only answer that it’s fine. I always make sure to tell them about some of the things I did during the day like going to class and sitting throughout a boring class of two hours. Sometimes, you find out they have the same feeling too and they needed people to talk to as much as you do.
Next time if someone asks about your weekend, you could give a reply like “I was enjoying myself until Chelsea decided to lose to Arsenal and my friends wouldn’t let me rest” or “my roommate came to the room complaining about her boyfriend and I had to turn to a relationship doctor to make her see nobody is perfect”. If face to face conversation doesn’t work for, try chatting with people on the phone instead. As much as possible, do not sound boring or appear repulsive during the chat. Reply every message accordingly and put a follow up question if need be. Chatting on the phone eliminates the fear of them seeing people’s faces as they couldn’t see your face too. The good thing is if you chat very well with people, sometimes you forget being an introvert because you express yourself without limit and eliminate the fear of the other person’s body language scaring the hell out of you. You could stay in your room and talk to people who are many kilometres away. Don’t because of your introvert nature become boring to yourself by evading communication with others.
More importantly, you should be proud of who you are. Introverts have the greatest power of all because we have the ability to sit comfortably and enjoy our own solitude. This is one thing that extroverts have difficulty doing. They can’t stand not being in the company of others for a long time like we do. As an introvert, you should embrace your solitude. By so doing, you will be able to harness the power of your mind as the greatest tool of all. As Rollo May puts it, “in order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” Many times, I write whatever it is I want to when I am alone and when others around me have exhausted their energies running around and then sleeping. By that time, I am able to concentrate on my thought flow without being disturbed.
Whilst you are alone, you should use that period to cultivate great thought. You might have difficulty communicating those to others. But you must let it show in whatever you do. As someone once said, “don’t tell people what you can do; show them instead.” After all, the beauty of life is in doing, not in saying. So, instead of feasting your mind on negative thoughts when you are alone, think creatively and let it show in whatever you do. Have you noticed that many of the inventors in world’s history were introverts? That’s because they utilise their solitude by focusing on creative thoughts.
There is a difference between being lonely and choosing to do things alone. According to Mary Sarton, “loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is the richness of self.” I have always believed this since I was young, albeit it is not easy. Whatever I want, I work hard to get it. Perhaps it is because of the feeling of not wanting anyone to say he or she helped me to get this or that done and then rub it on my face. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work with others if the need be. Oftentimes, our introverted nature often puts us in a corner where asking others for help could be somehow difficult. If you are an introvert, you could also use your solitude to get many of your stuffs done. As Albert Einstein advises, “be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have a holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.” Enjoy the company of yourself. It is a rare privilege.
Above all, try to learn the art of writing since by nature you might have difficulty holding conversation with people for a long time without often reverting to your shell. As John Green puts it, “writing is something you do alone. It’s a profession for introverts who want to tell a story but don’t want to make eye contact while doing it.” If you are not the best of talkers, you should compensate for that by writing well. For one way or another, you need to communicate with others. If you don’t talk to people often and you don’t know how to write too, you will become an alien even to own your own self.
Being an introvert is a good thing. Don’t let us others out you down because you are one. Being the shy and gentle type is not crime. Confidence comes in many ways. You can shake the world being an introvert. Being silent doesn’t mean your mind is any less powerful. Bring your inner thoughts to the surface and you will be marvelled at the difference you are making. Never allow anyone to make you feel less than you are as being an introvert is not a disease to be cured. Do what you want to do the best way you can, not the way people want you to do it. In the end, it is your happiness that matters. Enjoy your own company without feeling bad about who you are.