The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines heart break as : crushing grief, anguish, or distress. Across the globe, the word has been used mostly in the context of romance.
The different accounts below broke me in different ways. Allowing myself to feel hurt or show other people that I’m in distress however is an uphill battle. I am gangsta after all, admitting pain would lower my street cred. It’s easier to blast Django Jane and leave the house than calling my friends when I feel overwhelmed. Today, I open the exhibition to my hurt heart.
A saturday afternoon. I receive an email that I have qualified to the final stage of this really cool writing internship. Just one more interview with a member of their team to prove that I am worthy. The perfect candidate. I don’t get in. My phone chimes with the rejection email on new year’s eve.
A sunday morning. I wake up and no one is next to me. I relive the events of the previous night and a part of me wishes that we can work things out.So I wait for him. He comes back from the gym, hands me my sanitizer and it dawns on me that we are done. Nothing is left to patch up. I walk home prosterity taking to account that I tried.
Three years ago, I got into a University outside Kenya.Exceptional essays, good grades. I missed the scholarship they offer to a hundred Africans, apparently I’m never poor enough. I can’t afford tuition. I lost my spot.
This year, January, my friend and I fight. I tell myself to pick up the phone and talk it out but I am my mother’s daughter, petty to the core. I text her instead. Knowing fully well that it will be read with the wrong tone and punctuation but I’m angry and hurt and so should she. It is now eighty three days of radio silence with “I hear you” being the last message sent and received.