You and Your Darkness

You and Your Darkness

“Where there is no shame, there is no honor” -African proverb. 

Darkness could mean many things, but whenever people tend to define darkness, there is always light involved, which everyone always desire. Overtime, human has battles with darkness, some darkness that is keeping them awake and also punishing them. They have shame, anxiety and many in the shape of darkness, in which they have always try to run away from. But it seems the more they try to run away, the more they get closer to their darkness at every step away from it. This makes people wander the stories behind digging closer to their darkness.
There are beautiful stories behind every of our darkness, but it only takes the courageous to talk about theirs. To tell the beautiful stories behind shame is the hardest to tell, while it is easy for people to talk about their perfection. People shows their perfection capability in discussion and social media. They like to talk about things that will make people see a kind of perfection in them, instead of things that will make them free from their darkness. They never want others to see their darky beauties.
People try in many ways to run away from their darkness, they try to look for light in a place that there is no darkness, they look for perfection in a place there is no shame to haunt them. They try to avoid judgement, even when they know the judgement is so right about them.
Brene Brown wrote in her book titled “the gift of imperfection”. She pointed out 3 ways to the wholehearted living. I see the 3 ways as the prettiest ways to embrace whatever darkness that is haunting us, to make us see darkness as a culture, as part of our way of life.

1. Connection:
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, explaining the human motivation. To achieved self-esteem, one must have achieved the need of love and belonging. This shows the human need for connection with people close to us, our friends and family.
Man are tended to be tormented by their darkness, if they fail to start having real life relationship with people they care for the most, but spending time on social media with people they least care for. Man derive strength from the relationship with those that are close to them rather than people that they do meet on social media without any connection. Depression can come in when we no longer see the strength in the connection with important people in our lives.

2. Courage:
Merriam Webster define courage as the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous. Courage in this sense, is about putting our vulnerability in the line, by speaking honestly and openly about ourselves.
When we share our experiences and feelings, not only we do get stronger, but also, we getting other people to be strong too. Either good or bad, we should always have the courage to be honest with ourselves, both in public and private.

It is the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with desire to alleviate it. The society needs our help, but how can we be present in others’ people darkness, when we keep running away from our own darkness.

Compassion shows us the need to have affection for our own selves, we should learn to relax and allow ourselves to move towards our darkness or things that scares us. The heart of compassion is accepting ourselves before dealing with others’ people darkness. 

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