A Cocktail Of Emotions

A Cocktail Of Emotions

I hope and sincerely wish I live to see tomorrow, and the next and the next till I am grey and wrinkled. I hope to find that special girl I’d love more than life itself. I hope we both post our pictures on social media with captions like:

The absolute LOML’
‘The one after my Heart’
‘The wind behind my wings

I hope to feel the warmth of her embrace and place my head on her bosom. Really, it would be a shame if all these things never happen before I die. It’s been a battle since the last time I was at the Intensive Care Unit. I’ve been having more episodes and anxiety than usual. It scares me that I’d one day stand up to walk to the bathroom and collapse and that would be the end.

When that happens, please don’t despair over my death. 

 Let it be known to you all that I lived a full and a good life. There’s no better time than now to say I’m deeply sorry if I have wronged you in anyway.

Mother, I hope those bed time stories you told us growing up are true because I am looking forward to becoming a star in the sky to keep watch and shine light over you. Going mountain climbing on Wase Rocks was one of the best experiences of my life. Even though, the experience landed me in the ICU. But then again, doing nothing has landed me there more times than we can all remember. The silver lining to it the last time was I had joy in my heart as I was rolled into the hospital.

Ma, I met incredible people, took in beautiful scenery and capture the moments in selfies that would remain with you even after my demise. Sincerely, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I went on that trip, knowing fully well it wasn’t a wise counsel. I just really needed to for once do things normal people do. I am truly sorry, Maami!


Paula, Let it be solace to you that mum and dad won’t have to spend most of their time, money, and affection on me no more. We both know you’ve always felt neglected; you’re just to understanding and kind hearted to make a fuss over it. Well, you have them all to yourself now, Lol!

Twinnie, I hope you get to swim with the dolphins someday. I hope you fall madly in love and be loved in return.

Nevertheless, please ensure you take genetic counselling before falling head over heels in love and bringing offspring to the world.

Go skydiving if you miraculously get over your phobia for heights, girl. Make mistakes and learn from them. I hope when people ask you, what’s your name, you proudly tell them Paul-a. You are not just my twin sister; you are the best friend I’ve ever had. I love you so much.


Father, thank you for all you do. You’re the best dad any child could ask for. Thank you for always encouraging me to live life freely. Heaven knows we’d never be able to cope with mum’s endless extremity (lol! no offence intended, maami) without your awesome humour and personality. Thank you for always working hard to provide for us. I hope and wish you never get tired of taking care of mother and Paula.

Through all the rainbow of emotions I’ve experienced, of particular note is the immense gratitude and happiness of having you all by my side throughout the duration of my existence. I do not take your affection for granted. Again, I love you all dearly.

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What do you think?

  1. Good day Tabitha I know how you feel about this write up A Cocktail Of Emotions this is real emotions but all I know and pray that God will hold you and fill her space in ur mind
    I’m just in short of words to express my emotion about this write up

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