AMAKA

AMAKA

Okay I’m bored in the house and I’m in the house bored (bored)
Bored in the house and I’m in the house bored (bored)
Bored in the mafukin’ in the house bored
And I’m bored in the mafukin’ in the house bored, haa

Amaka stretches her hand to stop the song playing on her stereo. She started listening to the song because she was bored, and now she’s getting even more bored. It’s the 32nd day of isolation, and she has done all form of challenge there is; from don’t rush, to growing up in Kaduna checklist, to the ratchet dancing and so on. She has seen the movie series – Vikings; La Casa de Papel, Merlin,and the Witcher all over again. ,

Naturally ,she tried taking online courses but all the courses that catch her fancy are now ‘ridiculously’ expensive. Although, the kind of expensive these courses are still sort of affordable. In fact, Amaka would have been able to pay for them two weeks ago. She reaches for her laptop to search for a movie to watch and take her mind of things, especially the pain in her heart. As she clicks on her Nollywood Series Folder, ‘This Is IT’ pops up staring at her right in the face.

Movies are scam, she concluded. She met Max the exact same way Dede Ubani and Tomide Muenda met; the whole series of ‘This is It’ revolves around these two. And as Tomide’s proposal was rejected by Dede’s Company, so was Max’s but they kept in touch thereafter. In fact it was precisely a week after they marked their seventh month’s anniversary he disappeared on her. 

Realising the humour of the situation, she burst into laughter she laughed so hard that tears start rolling down her eyes and snorts, her nose. She clutches her chest as if to arrest the pain in her heart; a pain she knows so well now. She mutters her mantra:
Do not give anybody the power to control your life. You’re Strong, you’re wise…
I’m really wise, though this the 7th relationship, She thought. Ignoring herself, she resumed her mantra:

You’re beautiful. You loved, you lost. Now, chin up and move on with your life. The right person will come along”

The problem now is, she had used her entire savings to invest in a business she now realises was nonexistence. Max had use the principle of multiplication of words to wayo her into investing in a business with no name. Are you wondering what the principle of multiplication of words means? It’s simple. Perhaps, what best describes this code are the statements make by our politicians. These words lack clarity. They seem to cover all the bases while never making any clear points. The resolution of this game seems to be keeping your attention on them (the politicians) while they appear intelligent and informed. Such was the tactics Max used in swindling Amaka into dropping her Five Hundred and Fifty Thousands Naira savings. 

The funny thing is she’s supposed to be the crooked one according to 2Baba and Peruzzi. At that moment, the entire lyrics of that song came flooding over her, especially:

I don call everybody
I see you for twitter
Retweeting your mister

She had called him countless times after she got the ‘I’m not feeling this anymore text’. Now, it’s time to go see him on twitter!


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