One drunken night some three months ago, I cheated on Maxwell  (my present boo) with my ex at a mutual friend all night birthday party. I had gone alone because Maxwell and I were having yet another argument on his rather compulsive spending.

Maxwell Ignored the fact that we had just bought a Qasa rechargeable fan to combat heat at night and simultaneously check the amount we spend on fuelling the generator every other night the Benin Electricity Distribution Company (BEDC) refuses to give us electricity.

I’d calculated the amount that goes into fuel each month and discovered it was a fortune. It only made sense to buy a rechargeable fan for ventilation since that’s the major reason we put on the generator over night most times.

Five days after the purchase, Le boo went ahead to buy an Air Condition. I doubt if there’s a rechargeable air con, but if there is Maxwell chose the normal ‘nepa-working air con’ not a rechargeable one.

Emotional cheating is no doubt really painful, but the kind of devastation that accompanies  financial infidelity is no little as well. The most ridiculous part is when your partner chooses to cover his stupidity with lies.

Maxwell immediately lied that the air con belonged to his friend when I exploded on how irrational he was to have bought it. Of course, I had a begging to do for exploding the way I did by assuming he was unreasonable to buy the ‘an air con’ right after we got the rechargeable fan, and I did so profusely.
It wasn’t until the day of the birthday party I got to know that he lied.

Bobby, the supposed owner of the air con had come to visit us earlier that day and I’d asked him if he wanted to dash us his air con. He was physically puzzled, and with a side look at Maxwell’s direction it all became clear that he’d taken me for a fool yet again.

Nothing justifies cheating. But then having too much to drink at a party and seeing your really handsome ex who shares your views on being money-wise while you’re currently mad at your present lover’s rather low financial literacy limits your chances of making noble decisions.

Money and stress very often go hand in hand; I’ve seen so many women lose their senses while waiting for a man to come to his. Of particular example is my paternal aunt who works herself to the bone but is still struggling to care for her children the way she’d love to, courtesy of her husband’s gambling addition.

Although cheating differs to various people; to some, chatting or spending too much time with someone asides your spouse is cheating; some others tolerate chatting with other people but the moment you exchange saliva with someone other than your spouse, you become a cheat. And there are others who see kissing as ‘not-so-deep’, but would never be able to overlook it if you have sex with someone else – this later view, more often than not is usually the deal breaker.

Full disclosure, Maxwell has finally forgiven me about my infidelity, but we still have financial infidelity lurking around our ship.The worrisome part of it is each time I tried to enlighten him about smart investment and strategic saving plans; he becomes so defensive and then leads to a maddening built up  tension  in the air. 

Love is sweet indeed. However, paraphrasing Davido; love becomes sweeter when there is financial security.

It became clear the relationship was heading nowhere when Maxwell went out yesterday and came back with two expensive wrist watches for us. When I tried to explain how imprudent it was, he excused it by saying ‘…one is silver and the other is gold, madam, what is imprudent about this again?’.

Maybe…just maybe I should mention that the cost of the watches is ten thousand naira higher than his monthly income.



PS: Is not having sound financial literacy a deal breaker in relationship for you?

What do you consider as cheating; texting, kissing or actual sex?
Let’s talk in the comment session below.

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  1. Financial intelligence to me isn’t just spending money alone. If he has multiple streams of income and is not living on his salary, I would have forgiven Maxwell. But spending way above your means is suicidal. They would be swimming in debt in no time.

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