My lips quivered with disbelief as I mouthed the words “Mistakes happen, right?”
Minutes back, I was drenched in sweat, sickened with anxiety my tummy took a twist. I felt cold shivers move down my spin. I furrowed my brows towards the person responsible.
“Why didn’t you look before you sat, now you’ve broken it!”
I was at the hospital filing room.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a ruin” was her off track responds. She was obviously tense.
“Of course you didn’t, but what happened has happened now, nothing can change it!”, I replied.
It was now I wished more than ever to posses super powers. To wish I could see into the future or better still, that I had the power to go back in time to reverse this event.
I sat still on the iron chair beholding the remains of the damage in my hands, frantic thoughts crossed my mind
“Why did I bring you along?, If I had prayed, perharps non of this would have happened!”.
At the background I could hear her plea like sobs echoing in my head. She seemed to be at loss for words as she muffled those two word I didn’t want to hear. “I’m sorry”
Still boiling with rage, I slipped into a state of oblivion, “Is this how it feels to hurt?, how could I forgive you now? From where do I begin to tender my love, what words do I have to render as my heart is sore with pain. What is forgiveness now; what can it do to change this?”
Right then did the thought line up in my head.
Nothing. Nothing would change what had happened. I would have to deal with it.
I had no reason to forgive, I had every right to demand back from her the loss.
But it was not far when the Lord reminded me of my lapses. Not so much to cause me guilt, but to ones again remind me of the many times he had taken my “I’m sorry”? and drew me back in his hands.
God’s forgiveness is the reason to forgive.
Forgiveness is an alternative, only IF you were never forgiven.
Forgiveness may not bring back the missing loss or repair the damage. Forgiveness will give the chance to heal, move on to better things. It’s not the end of the world yet!
With my heart still heavy I turned on my seat and stared at the culprit, a pasted smile on my face.
“Mistakes happen, it’s fine.” I could hardly believe my own ears but I knew it’s was the right thing to do. I stood and dashed out of the room.
Photo credit: Jude Beck @unsplash